Nine months on, nine months off? Something like that.

Your 46th weekly challenge is to obtain some new-to-you clothes that you’ll enjoy along with an afternoon of girlfriend hilarity all for the cost of some cucumber-scented spa water. The end of the year is a perfect time to plan a clothing swap.

Whitney totally hates this photo series but I love it. To be fair, she was trying on outfits from the “pass-through” pile.

We’ve mentioned this idea here and there, but here are the instructions for how to throw a clothing swap on your own.

I have hosted no fewer than nine clothing swaps with my stylish friends and spawned at least three known copycats. For the record, this is better as a a no-kids-allowed event (or just pre-crawlers), so let Daddy take the bambino out for a hike while you get some well-deserved girlfriend-time. The whole event can take less than two hours.

Here’s the step-by-step to planning and hosting:
(kind of long, but I want to make it mindless for you)

1. Stake out a day. Work with your partner or a babysitter to find a good day for the swap. Plan around naps and try to avoid mealtime so that you are not trying to be Martha Stewart while you are running around your living room half-naked.
2. Invite the ladies. Send out an evite to all your potentially willing friends.
3. Purge. Set aside a good hour and clean out your closet of stuff you haven’t worn in a year or wouldn’t want to wear right now even if the proper situation presented itself. Be brutal. If you’re feeling those flipping annoying post-partum body issues, get a good friend to help. (Do your marriage the small favor of not asking your husband if your “butt looks big in this” because it probably does!)
4. Merchandise. Clean and fold the things for the swap. Bust out the iron even. Create a separate bag of clothes so ugly you’d be embarrassed for your friends to see (stained t-shirts for instance) — these can go in the pass-through pile (modeled by Whitney as “Before”)
5. Think about how you’ll set up your space for the event. Is there a mirror handy in the living room or will you have to tidy up your room too? Is there space for hanging clothes? If you have room to “merchandise” your stuff, it is a little more fun to “shop”.
6. Make little signs — use the computer or write on index cards what the categories of clothing are so that guests can sort their offerings. (Download our labels here.) And, have a few blank labels available for the day of.

On the day of the event: tidy up, wear cute underwear, get some appetizers or have your friends bring them, and wait for everyone to bring you new clothes! We usually start out browsing the piles casually enough and trying stuff on here and there. Once you try on a cute spangly dress, it is fair game for someone else to have a go at it. Let your friends decide who really looks best in it. I am notorious for trying to get my hands on everyone’s good stuff.

Afterward, get someone to help you load the car or take stuff directly to the charity.

Note: we often have a grab bag category, maternity, men’s clothes, shoes, and baby clothes.

If you’re still not convinced, here are my top eight reasons to host a clothing swap:

1. eat drink and be merry (just easy snacks and spa water)
2. enjoy a fun afternoon with friends
3. feel good about donating to a worthy cause
4. get a heap of new clothes for free (especially good if you have a changing-mom-body!)
5. get a license to buy a couple new pieces for all your thrift
6. play dress-up and get silly
7. purge yourself of unwanted clothes
8. re-gift your recent holiday loot (I like to hold mine in January)

… I’m getting off my soapbox now.

So, do you love or shove the clothing swap for moms?

I was driving down the street yesterday when a friend, Andrea, pulled out in front of me in her station wagon. I was only driving behind her for only a couple of blocks, but we rolled down our car windows to wave at each other and grin like goofballs at the simple coincidence of seeing each other on the road.

Andrea Scher, co-creator of Mondo Beyondo (Google it!)

Andrea is one of the most thoughtful and inspiring women I’ve met, and though we’ve only hung out ten times or so over the past few years, some of the things she has said are the things that have stuck with me or changed my perspective in fantastic ways. Andrea was a rookie mom to baby Ben when she wrote this at her blog SuperheroJournal.com.

After my post about friendship, my friend Kalah shared something that I loved. She said,
“When you’re feeling most isolated, remember that you can always bring the party to YOU. Friends without children might not have an idea of your daily goings-on and may put off calling because they don’t want to be intrusive. Inviting them into your fold reassures them that you still appreciate their friendships and they feel like they’re saving you some time and energy when they make the effort to meet you where you are. It’s ok to let go of perfectionism when it comes to the state of your home when it comes to visitors–most people understand that you’re living the real, visceral life.”

In the spirit of bringing the party to me and my favorite SARKism “Invite Someone Dangerous to Tea,” I decided to invite the owner of Speesees, Rachel Pearson for tea. (We had only “met” via email after I ordered some goodies) She is pure color, creativity, fun and talent. I was SO inspired by our conversations about business and dreams and love. She made my day and reminded me that one of my greatest pleasures is connecting with other creative women/kindred spirits/people I admire.

It’s funny, since that event took place, I’ve had Andrea over several times, and by pure coincidence, met Rachel, who she dared herself to meet.

Can you invite someone dangerous to tea this week? This is your 19th rookie mom challenge. Take a chance on a person you don’t know well.  “Tea” is the perfect invitation for a mid-day meet up and can be at your breakfast table with tea and fruit or at a cafe where you don’t have to clean up anything.

Tell us, who do you have in mind? A mom you’ve met a few times at yoga? Your old boss who you miss? A friend of your mom’s who always tells funny stories?

This sweepstakes is now closed. Random winner is… 55.

This not-so-Secret Santa post is part of a sponsored series from Ubisoft, celebrating “12 Days of Giveaways.” See below for how you can enter up to 12 times to win fun and family-friendly video games.

I was sent a copy of Just Dance 2 to review. I started immediately playing the games in party mode (with an adult in my household who wishes to remain nameless) and had a very awkward evening. I grew more and more frustrated trying to earn points and shake my booty in a manner resembling a real dance while he destroyed my score by mastering the remote and barely moving his body.

If you factor in that he was forced to dance (and crush me!) to Big Girl (You Are Beautiful), rather than a song of his own choosing, you’ll understand why he begged me never to reveal his identity in this here blog.

A couple of days later — once my dignity had returned when everyone was still asleep — I tried it alone at 6AM. I used the “just sweat” mode to challenge myself to a week of dance-video-game fueled exercise. Though I still struggled with some of the moves, I got better at it each day. I reached the goal (3-4 songs per day for a week!) and enjoyed doing it. By the next weekend, when my kids walked in on me, I was ready to show off.

With 44 songs to choose from, I found a few old favorites and learned moves to some current songs (in addition to the ones I had never heard of): Vampire Weekend – A-Punk, Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, The Jackson 5 – I Want You Back, and Rihanna – S.O.S. to name a few.

Bottom line: Good clean fun for an evening in with the ladies or a morning of performing for your kids and calling it a workout. Less fun to play with your husband.

Want to win a copy? To enter for a chance to win Just Dance 2 and Raving Rabbids Travel in Time for the Wii (approximately $90 value), tell us in the comments what games you love to play (video or analog, anything goes!). Comments close on December 2 and winner will be randomly selected on Friday, December 3. Continental U.S. Residents only, sorry!

For more ways to win games for the whole family, visit each of these blogs now through December 2 for more chances to win games (including Just Dance 2 (Wii), Battle of Giants: Dinosaur Strike (Wii), Petz Fantasy (DS) and Petz Nursery (DS)!

motherbumper
DaDa Rocks
Crash Test Mommy
Scraps of My Geek Life
Mommies With Style
The Fairly Odd Mother
All Things Fadra
The Lemonade Stand
Mom to the Screaming Masses
Beccarama
Romy Raves

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I was selected to participate in this sponsored series by Ubisoft and Clever Girls Collective. I received a video game and compensation for my participation in this program. We all believe in Blog With Integrity.

With the economy totally sucking, we’ve modified our babysitter retainer model slightly and are trying to have a few more date nights at home. If you thought it was totally unrealistic when I told you to put your kids to bed before 7pm and have a date-night, I feel you.

Here are six slightly more inventive ideas for dating during your kids waking hours, because let’s admit it, things just ain’t what they used to be.

Dates involving the kids
It can be a tricky balance to let the kids participate and still have it feel like a date, or at least a special occasion.

1. Serve me. Get the kids to serve you somehow. Big kids can prepare dinner, little kids can walk on your back and we can call it a spa/massage.
2. Join us. Throw a wintry picnic in the living room, a silly way to celebrate that you’re more than a couple, you’re a family.
3. Class it up. Order the best takeout in town, serve it on the good china with cloth napkins. Light candles.
4. Play Rock Band where you do the instruments and singing and your kids accompany with egg shakers and tambourines from their kits. (Rumor has it that Lego Rock Band has kid-friendly tunes.)

While the kids are distracted
These can be a little hard to pull-off but here are some ideas to sneak in a date while your kids are looking the other way.

1. Elmo sex. As described by Mom101, “in which you plop the kids down in front of Elmo, race into the bedroom for 15 minutes, then get the 2 minute warning when the theme music comes on?”.
2. Drug ‘em. Benadryl the kids and make out while they’re passed out. Naw, I wouldn’t. But tell me if you you’ve tried it.

We use a few different strategies to double dip on childcare we’re already using. For example, Alec and I can sometimes have coffee date before work or sneak in a matinee when the boys are at preschool.

What kind of things do you do to have a “date night” at home?

Somewhat-related thoughts: Over on our BabyCenter column, I extol the virtues of video games for parents. If you’re up all night with a baby reading this post — sorry! — I’ll suggest our new sponsor, Baby Sleep Site to the rescue.

It’s no secret that I think that new moms should let the party come to them as often as possible. When I was in my rookie year, I hosted potlucks, game nights, TV screenings, and Wii karaoke events as often as I could.

Invite a few friends, get them to bring the food, put my baby to bed whenever I need to, and I’m a happy mom!

When I heard about House Party, I got excited. Not only do these folks give you an excuse and theme for a party, but also really cool swag for you and your guests as thanks for your time.

An upcoming one is for The Fisher Price “Perfect Playdate” — the host mama gets some new toys and all the guests get toys, too.

I’m pretty sure that you still have ask someone to bring the pizza and beer.

• Find out more details about Perfect Playdate. Apply now for parties Saturday and Sunday, September 18 and 19, 2010.
• Sign up for their email list to keep an eye out for future House Parties that you might like even more (board games, make-up, TV, food, condoms, whatever you’re into).
• For those mamas who are into green, non-toxic living, hop over to Healthy Child and sign up for one of their House Party kits.

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Disclosure: No, this wasn’t a sponsored post in any way. I just think it’s a cool idea. Let me know if you love it or hate it in the comments.

Alana from Nala’s Magic shared a terrific tip for keeping an at-home date night creative for less than five bucks.

Head over to the thrift store and buy a few new board games. Play with your partner after your baby goes to bed. Done and done.

Nala's games were all half off at the thrift store

She added a favorite family recipe of Fettuccine Alfredo to the date. When I try this assignment over the weekend, I plan to add a fancy dessert (I would do anything for Whole Foods’ chocolate cream pie) turning the grand total of the date from about $5 into about $11.

Nala has other fun and cheap date-night ideas in her Date Me group. Please share your fun ideas with us in the comments!

Here’s a fun little activity to squeeze in during naptime this week. This suggestion was excerpted from the book If You Give a Mom a Martini…100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself:

Update your Netflix queue–it’s surprisingly relaxing. “Accidentally” delete any movies chosen by your husband that feature Angelina Jolie wearing leather. Intentionally add any movies with George Clooney wearing anything.

Use your discretion about moving Disney films up or down the list, depending on whether your kids are being nice to you at the time. And remember to look surprised several days later when three Nora Ephron comedies arrive in the mail.

To celebrate this activity, I am watching The Outsiders in little ten- and twenty-minute chunks all week.

[I had this poster on my wall all throughout college! Do it for Johnny!]
Read my complete review of the book, If You Give a Mom a Martini.

New parents owe themselves date nights. Regular, frequent, child-free nights of enjoying each other’s company. If the kids must be around, I think its fair to dress them up as waiters or maids and have them serve you.

When some nice folks at Nintendo offered to send me the Nintendo DSi new game from America’s Test Kitchen (Let’s Get Cooking!) along with groceries to try some at-home dinner date fun, I jumped at the chance. America’s Test Kitchen is already one of my favorite sources for how to cook food right the first time, and they did not disappoint. Thanks guys!

What was awesome
I loved having a creative, sneaky, geeky date night all planned out in advance. The Let’s Get Cooking! game divided up our jobs based on timing and our skill level (so you could make your older kids cook for you – yay!) and the chicken turned out really delicious.

all the steps for indoor bbq chicken

What was not awesome
The voice-activated instructions from the game were also activated by the ambient noise of us talking and cooking; the ceaseless prompts from the DS were both hilarious and annoying.

Imagine the voice of your GPS on a romantic roadtrip

Once the homemade barbecue chicken was finished, there was no side dish, salad, starch, or dessert so it was a lonely little plate of food. I would have really liked for the “game” to suggest appropriate side dishes and incorporate their preparation at the same time (like my Dinner Dates book does).

We added toast and broccoli at the last minute

The dessert that we had in mind (chocolate pot de creme!) required four hours of chilling, so it was not ready until later in the week. Boo.

Bottom Line
We enjoyed our cooking experience and the food, albeit on separate days. We will probably try it again next time we need a little guidance on date night. If you already have a DS or DSi, I think this game is a fun addition to your arsenal.

Related:

• Take the 52 Date Night Challenge
• Reconnect in the Kitchen

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Disclosure: Representatives of Nintendo sent me a DSi, this game, and groceries. I appreciate their kindness.

I’ve never written a recipe before, so please be forgiving as I share these instructions. I make this lentil stew dish about once per week and it takes no time at all. I have served it to all three sets of grandparents and they all (claimed to) like it. Plus, I started giving it to my daughter when she was about 10 months old and she loved it. It’s packed with nutrition, so while eating a tomato soup-based lentil stew with one’s chubby little fingers is disgusting and messy, I can’t complain.

All of my ingredients are from Trader Joe’s.  If you don’t have a Trader Joe’s, you might have to cook your own lentils in which case, 90% of the convenience of this recipe is gone.  But, for you Trader Joe’s shoppers, here are the details for my favorite Easy Lentil Stew:

Ingredients:

+ Half a box of Tomato & Roasted Red Pepper Soup
+ One package of pre-cooked steamed lentils (found in the refrigerated section near the pre-cut veggies)
+ 1 tsp cumin
+ sweet potato chunks (optional)

Excuse the appearance of the sweet potato. I guess I only washed half of it.

If you are adding sweet potato, dice about 3/4 cupful and place in a microwavable container such as a pyrex measuring cup. Cover with water and microwave for 4 minutes. Drain and set aside. (I leave the skin on but I am kinda crunchy that way.)

Empty contents of lentil package into a medium-sized pot. Shake container of soup and pour over lentils until covered. Heat with medium fire, stirring occasionally.

Add cumin. Add sweet potato (or don’t). Cook until heated all the way through.

Serve with a sprinkling of Parmesan and some seeded crackers.

This simple lentil stew stores easily in the fridge and is a great way to entertain a friend for lunch or to feed yourself a dinner more nutritious than cereal for two nights when your partner is out of town.

Kid-friendly? I’m not sure. I have one who will eat a man-sized portion and another who wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.

This sounds like a self-help suggestion, but it’s actually really fun and the best part is trading your list with your friends and/or spouse if you can convince them to do it.

Heather challenged me to do make a list of 50 things I like to do, and then she went all over-achiever on my ass and came up with more than 100. This month when she was trying to figure out what to do on her birthday, it was exactly her flavor of a geeky challenge to see how many of her favorite things could be packed into one day.

An excerpt of my list:

have adult slumber parties at Tahoe cabins
be complimented at work for my ideas
buy craft supplies
buy food at Monterey Market for Julian
check the mail
cross country ski when it’s sunny
design things
discuss things with Ryan
eat fish tacos and have pina colada at Picante on Friday night
eat soft chocolate chip cookies
fall asleep on couch
get 10K steps in one day
get pedicure
give handmade gifts

What’s on your list? Post an excerpt of your list (or the whole thing!) and comment with the link.

Let doing these things more frequently be a recipe for “you 2.0″. (Thanks to Kammie for the expression).

I love challenges, lists, and being cheap so this post from Simply Modern Mom is right up my alley. Tiffany challenges her readers to take 52 dates — one per week — while keeping the costs low.

Inspired by the challenge, I commit to have 52 date nights this year with my husband. Here are our criteria:

• Every Friday night from 6 -10 p.m. is our date night. Or Saturday.
• It will be a mix of babysitter dates and at-home dates.
• We rotate being in charge of date nights regularly (Alec is panicking at this one).
• Can’t do the same thing twice in one month.
• No children allowed.
• Must create a date-like atmosphere. No frumpy clothes or pajamas. Make it a special event. Mind the details. But most of all, keep it simple.
• Double-dates and group-dates are okay but no more than one of four nights per month.

So, what have we been up to so far? Glad you asked.

Fri 1/8: Alec’s holiday party and nobody asked if I was pregnant. Yay!
Sat 1/16: double date to Temescal’s Burma Superstar
Sat 1/23: upscale take-out from Gather and watched an Oscar movie.
Fri 1/29: to SF Sketchfest to enjoy a night of comedy.

Based on my criteria, we are one date behind. Gah!

All date night ideas are welcome. Hope you’ll join me in this challenge.

If you have been getting a little behind in your Mominatrix-inspired sexual resolution, we totally feel you. This has been hard. We’re not exactly on top of these daily challenges ourselves.

In case reclaiming your mama mojo is not enough motivation for you to stay up past 10pm, we’re going to sweeten the deal for you.

What you can win: Rookie Mominatrix happy sex basket
Kristen Chase hand-selected these prizes with your needs in mind:

• A signed copy of The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex: A No-Surrender Advice Book for Naughty Moms (which we’ve both read cover to cover)
• Mominatrix t-shirt (which we both wear when we don’t think we’ll run into the in-laws)
• smart balls (for kegels)
• good lube – intimate organics – allergen free (no glycerin)
• Rub my Duckie vibe (doubles as a baby tub toy)

How to enter:
Inspired by Challenge #6, leave us a comment below to share one or more songs from your fun sexy playlist. (Is it cheating if I get you guys to make a playlist for me? Shut up.)

The contest will begin at 9:00 a.m. (PST) January 11 2010 and will end 8:59 a.m. (PST) February 1, 2010 (in time to receive the goodies by Valentine’s Day, we hope). Make sure that the e-mail address you leave is correct.

It’s never too late to catch up! Go to bed naked tonight and wake up to read the complete list of challenges (all more fun than wiping someone’s tushy, we hope!). Keep track of all the sexual resolution challenges.

More Rules:

• No duplicate comments.
• Comment once each day. Different song(s) please.
• Tweet about our contest and post a link back here.
• Need another chance? You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
• This giveaway is open to US Residents, aged 18 and older. (Sorry!)
• Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
• You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.