As part of a partnership with Philips AVENT, I attended a super amazing event in Los Angeles last month. The Biggest Baby Shower is an expo-style event where attendees pay for tickets to access a beautiful room stuffed to the gills with the stuff a pregnant woman needs to know about in her first year of motherhood. Stylish baby gear and opportunities to win fabulous prizes greeted guests at every turn. I probably said, “Wow!” twenty times.

I was helping the Philips AVENT team introduce their new double electric Comfort Breast Pump to expectant moms; the space we created was an oasis that included free massages and comfy chairs to take a break from walking the floor. We also talked about breasts. I won’t lie: it does get a little awkward to talk breast pumping with a man who is not yet on the other side of the childbirth experience.

The ballroom space offered moms a chance to check out strollers, baby carriers, designer high chairs, and cribs. Resource providers, such as LA baby coach Jenni June, Urban Sitter, and giggle — along with a bajillion cupcake bakeries — were on hand to introduce themselves to the pregnant women and woo them with free samples.

I’m not even kidding you guys, there was a red carpet entrance and a crapload of awesome gift bags.

It was simply adorable to see all the guests sporting their round bellies. Partners walked alongside, carrying bags, dutifully listening to marketing folks explain the features and benefits of all the baby gear.

So what does one say to an expectant rookie mom who has arrived at such an event?

I felt pressure to strike the right tone, to be positive, encouraging, and also useful without being scary. I mean what’s the point of telling someone that childbirth is excruciatingly painful? There’s no way around it. We may as well focus on the cupcakes.

Should I say, “Look, you don’t need all this stuff in advance. The price of your stroller does not reflect your love for your baby.” Or say, “Here are ten things I learned in the first month that I want to pass on to you, ” and risk that she can hardly understand what I’m saying and will come away feeling overwhelmed? Or maybe the startled-looking pregnant woman doesn’t even share my values and will be 100% fine going in another direction without my guidance.

Ignorance is bliss. And so are cupcakes. (Did I mention the cupcakes?)

I am extra cautious when talking to pregnant strangers whom I truly, sincerely want to help. Multiply that by 500. Certain factors impact each woman’s experience of early motherhood, but I can’t guess where a new mom lands on the spectrum without getting to know her better. Here are the obstacles that prevent me from doling out buckets of unsolicited advice:

• Support system. I don’t know how much support she’ll have at home. Is she single? Does her husband travel a lot for work? Will they have hired help? Does her mother live in town?
• Work situation. I don’t know if she’ll be back at work within 6 weeks, 6 months, or ever. One adorable woman I talked to had already given birth. She was wearing her 11-day old in a Baby Bjorn carrier and said she had already worked a few shifts at the restaurant where she was a waitress.
• Shopping preferences. Does buying stuff make her feel good? Some of us like to acquire beautiful things, gadgets, or just get a little head start in providing for the baby to practice feeling like a parent. Some fear spending money on the wrong things or don’t have room for loads of “stuff”. I can’t tell by looking at your belly if you like to shop or hate to shop.

We tried to write The Rookie Mom’s Handbook so that it would speak to all new moms, and it’s challenging to not start every sentence with “if.”

“If you live in an urban area…”

“If you have a flexible work schedule…”

“If you’re bottle feeding…”

“If your baby sleeps in a crib…”

There are so many different variables! Though I post a lot of tips on this website, when I’m in person with a new mom, I’m actually pretty quiet. I mostly listen to what they say and agree with them. I wait for them to ask me specific questions.

If you have five minutes with a first-time mom-to-be, what do you like to tell her?

Note: this same event is coming to San Francisco on April 25, and I’ll be there again to help answer questions about the Philips AVENT comfort pump.

photos: The really good pictures in this post are by photographer Danielle Wang. The rest are from my Instagram account.

I went to the world premiere of the Pixar film Brave in Hollywood last week, and let’s just get one thing straight first: after living in in Los Angeles my entire childhood and finally attending my first RED carpet event 20 years after moving away, the red carpet was green.

photo credit: Disney

See how there are two sides of that rope? I walked on the less important side of it.

I didn’t know what to write about this event that would not make you like me less, so I’m going to stick with the questions that Heather asked me.

Did you buy a new dress?

Nope, I wore a dress I’ve had for 10 years.

How did it feel to be dressed as a fancy person at a movie theater? Was the theater comfy?

The venue was the Dolby Theater where the Oscars are held (recently known as the Kodak Theater). Fancy fancy. There were celebs, paparazzi, and an after party where I couldn’t find a table and ate standing up until my forearm ached.

I love this question, by the way, because when it was happening it felt 100% fine, but looking back I’d say I do prefer not wearing Spanx, a strapless bra, and contact lenses at the movies. But I fit right in, so if that’s what you’re asking, it was all good.

photo cropped in half because otherwise my head would be too small to identify

Who is that dude? (I sent this picture to Heather.)

That is David, who blogs at The Daddy Complex. He was one of 25 other bloggers on the trip. Don’t look at his site right now because he’s also talking about Brave and you might feel overwhelmed. Look at it tomorrow when he’s talking about his twins again. I do give him mad props for wearing a kilt to the event, and look how I treated him like a Scottish prop for my amusement. Sorry, David.

Were you making awkward small talk?

Sometimes, yes. I was envious of the Pixar employees for whom it was really a victory celebration, complete with bagpipe acknowledgements. For me, as a member of the media, it was more like being at the swanky Bar Mitzvah party of someone I didn’t know (growing up in LA, some of the Bar Mitzvahs were pretty fabulous). At one point I ran into the parents of one of Scarlett’s friends, one of whom works at Pixar, so that was a nice surprise.

photo credit: caryn bailey

Inspired by the film’s protagonist, I channeled my fierce independence and wandered off alone to an activity station where you could shoot a bow and arrow.  My first shot was a bulls-eye, and my next two were darn close.

Did you see any celebrities?

Yes, I saw many who I couldn’t identify but whose status I understood due to the number of people who were taking their picture. The person I felt the greatest impulse to hug was Angela from The Office. Kevin Nealon would have been a close second, but he had a lady friend with zero body fat linking her sculpted arm to his arm. I saw Allison Janney, too. I said nothing to any of them.

Should I take my kids to see the movie even though it’s PG?

Yes, because I know you are Pixar-obsessed and will not rest until you see it, but since they’re under 8, I think you should read my post Brave: Do kids need a “good” scare? on BabyCenter first.

Every kid has a different tolerance for intensity on the screen and Scarlett and Julian are pretty sensitive.  I told them the entire plot already so that they would not be quite as startled during the movie. Julian (7 1/2) wants to go, but Scarlett is going to skip it.

I was treated to this experience by the folks at Disney, and I am one million percent grateful for the opportunity to have been there.

JJ Keith shares some fun-filled toddler and preschooler activities to keep mom having fun in and around Pasadena, CA. She writes the JJust Kidding blog about raising babies in Hollywood (without raising Hollywood babies).

Kasper and Beatrix enjoy the swings

Monday: Explore the Arroyo
Go for a walk in the jog stroller-friendly watershed of the Arroyo Seco (entrance at Norwood Drive and South Arroyo Boulevard) and skip down the 110 to the Audubon Center at Debs Park (4700 North Griffin Avenue; FREE) where they have a miniature arroyo for kids to explore and learn about watersheds. You might want to bring a change of clothes because there’s ample opportunity for romping in the mud.

Exploring the Audobon Center

Tuesday: Sing-Along
Drive a few minutes east of Pasadena to join Mothersong, a family music class in American Legion Hall in Eagle Rock (2109 Merton Ave), where toddlers are free to bang on drums and sing their little hearts out (suggested $5-10 donation, classes are at 10 a.m. and 11 a.m.). Afterwards dip on down the street for brunch at the Coffee Table, which features a $5 kids menu and a staff heroically tolerant of toddlers.

Wednesday: Romp in the Park
Garfield Park in South Pasadena (park on Park Street at Mission Street) has a large well-shaded playground with a variety of structures suitable for crawlers through school kids. When the kids have swung and slided themselves out, dip over to Wild Thyme Cafe and Bakery (805 Fair Oaks Avenue) for a crepe or a seared ahi sandwich.

Thursday: Farmer’s Market
The South Pasadena Farmers Market (Meridian Avenue and El Centro Street, Thursdays from 4-8 p.m.) is mecca for kids. Check out the roasted sweet potatoes, corn, ice cream, and nearby train watching for your junior engineer.

Friday: Story Time
South Pasadena Public Library (1100 Oxley Street) has a famously great Friday story toddler time at 10:30 and 11:00 a.m. Once your toddler is storied out you can wear him or her down at Amy’s Playground (1115 Mission Street, $7-9 per child). And bonus: you can get your kid’s hair cut at Amy’s as well.

Saturday: Horticulture
Descanso Gardens, just northeast of Pasadena on the 210 in La Cañada Flintridge (1418 Descanso Drive; $8 for adults, $5 for children 5-12), is the ideal place to let your toddler roll around in the leaves. In addition to 150 acres of gardens, woodlands and chaparral, there’s a yummy café and gift shop loaded with kid-friendly goodies.

Sunday: Children’s Museum
KidSpace, located in the west end of Brookside Park (480 North Arroyo Boulevard; $10 per person, children under 12 months free), is the kind of place where you can let your kid go bananas without having to do too much supervision. In addition to indoor play structures and exhibits appropriate for even the wee-est of wee ones, there’s a slew of outdoor water features for sunny day mayhem. You can even bring a swim suit and water shoes and let your kid get soaked the bone in the play pond.

Kidspace at the Children's Museum

Thanks so much to JJ for sharing her great ideas and adorable pictures. Read more from her at jjustkidding.blogspot.com.

If Hollywood is not in your neck of the woods, find your hometown in our Staycation guides for new moms.

Baby-friendly theaters? Yes, please.

We sure love our DVRs and Hulu, but refuse to give up on going to the theater. Did you know some theaters also have special showings for new parents? These showings have different names in different cities, but the idea that yours will not (most likely) be the loudest baby in the movie theater is the common thread.

Both of our firstborns were frequent attendees of “Baby Brigade” (now known as “Bringing Up Baby“) at the El Cerrito Theater during their first year.

Select theaters are participating in a program called Baby Pictures. Check the website to see if there is a baby movie showing in a city near you.

The Kerasotes chain in Illinois and Indiana offers Matinee Movie Magic. I thought I was pretty magical when I sat in a movie theater while doing my first in public breastfeeding (without crying!) when Julian was 5 weeks old. (This mistakenly led Heather, my 19-weeks pregnant escort, to believe that nursing is easy.)

Stroller matinees are a good early outing for freaked out new parents. Crying is totally allowed.

This is your ninth weekly rookie mom challenge. Even if you cannot find a mom and baby movie in your area, consider taking a risk on an 11 am showing. Heather and I brought baby Milo to Knocked Up while I was super pregnant with Scarlett. We saw the first show of the day and only one other person was in the theater. Milo stayed in his carseat for much of the movie and when he got sick of that, Heather held him up on her lap facing the movie.  The volume at the theater is much louder than any grunting or fussing that tiny babies do.

In LA, Monday Morning Mommy Movies weekly at 11:00 am at the Grove, Glendale, and Northridge.

In Portland, McMenamin’s Kennedy School hosts the occasional Mommy Matinee and for cheap!

Austin, TX has Baby Day Movie at Alamo Draft House Cinema (Tuesdays). Parents are allowed to bring infants into the movie for shows starting before 2:05 pm. (check website for movie times and location).

In San Francisco, realtor Jill Russo sponsors a monthly Mommy Movie on the second Thursday of each and every month. And it’s FREE!

Have you done this outing? Please tell us where!
Loved it or hated it?
Not quite ready for a movie? Pick a challenge from an earlier week.

photos: Grand Lake by ThomasHawk on flickr; theater interior Associated Press

Gina Osher, aka The Twin Coach, shares this lesson about confidence for new moms.

Many women are overwhelmed by parenthood; mothers of multiples are sometimes even more so. After our twins were born, I found myself so afraid to fail at any aspect of motherhood that I simply chose to run from it.  I avoided the fear of not knowing what the heck I was doing with our two infants by hiring a pair of doulas. For almost 4 weeks I had constant companionship and help from these two women. On the surface I seemed secure and confident in many areas, but I was terribly afraid to be left alone with our children. I couldn’t figure out how, for the life of me, I was going to do something as complicated as tandem breastfeed without help or, God forbid, leave the house with both children on my own!

Once again, I dodged that bullet by hiring a nanny before our doulas’ last day of work. Being still quite unsure of my own skills as a mother, I ended up hiring someone who took advantage of that.  Within a very short time she was taking the babies out without me for long periods of time, saying that I needed rest, which I did, but this also left me feeling totally disconnected from being a mother to my own babies. My fear of not being a good enough mom had me paralyzed. After a few months of this, we found out our nanny had been lying to us about many things and we fired her abruptly. Not only did we not have a nanny to take her place, but we were so gun-shy after the betrayal that I couldn’t see myself being able to trust another stranger with our children.

So now, here I was, alone with two 7-month old babies, no real experience being alone with them and no option but to sink or swim. I had never been out of the house with the two of them on my own and I knew I had to figure out how to do it and fast. Sometimes it requires having your back up against the wall to push yourself to do the things you’re afraid of.

I tackled my biggest challenge – taking both babies outside, unassisted – and started out small. Each little accomplishment felt like a celebratory moment: “I got both kids out of our second-story duplex with all of their gear and buckled into the car”! “I figured out that you can push two of those Step 2 push buggies side by side really easily”! “I took the kids grocery shopping on my own”! The more I did, the more confident I got. Even better than that, the more confident I got the more connected I became, both to my children and to my natural instincts as a mother. I began to understand my children’s moods and gestures; I was able to respond and give them what they needed. To my amazement, I watched our children thrive and change within days of being alone with me. All of my fears had actually boiled down to one: the thought that I wasn’t up to this job as mom of twins. But once I was forced to confront that fear, I saw that not only was I a great mom, but I was actually exactly the mother our son and daughter needed.

Gina and her family

Get more of Gina Osher at www.TheTwinCoach.blogspot.com

With a tight schedule, barking dogs, and a napping baby, it could have been any of our new mommy friends on the quick phone call from which we just hung up. Instead, a few bloggers were lucky to have a chance to chat with Ellen Pompeo from Grey’s Anatomy about her life as a new mom and her role in the Every Little Bottom campaign. She’s joining us to help spread the word about how easy it is to donate diapers and help a mom in need.

Ellen Pompeo distributing diapers at LA Diaper Drive

Jenny from Jenny on the Spot: What motivated you to join the Every Little Bottom program? What is the passion behind your decision?

Ellen Pompeo from Grey’s Anatomy: When Huggies reached out, I didn’t know anything about diaper need. Being a new mother, all I had to hear is that 1 in 3 moms struggle to provide diapers… It’s a staggering statistic. If a big corporation like Huggies can get involved, how can I not do my part?… It was a no-brainer for me. If we can relieve the stress on moms and the stress on babies. It’s a real fixable problem.

Kim from House of Prince: What do you feel is the best way to motivate people to get involved in this campaign?

Ellen: I think the easier we make it for people to get involved the more people are likely, because everyone is busy, especially moms who work. Having these diaper drives where people buy diapers and providing places for people to drop them off would help. Even online with diapers.com, if we have a way to make it as easy as possible for people because people are super busy.

Rookie Moms: What do you like to do when you aren’t working and you are taking care of baby Stella?

Ellen: Our favorite things to do are swimming in the pool and going to mommy and me yoga. Sometimes the yoga schedule doesn’t fit with her nap time, but on the days when the class is earlier we go and we love that.

photo of Ellen Pompeo, Chris Ivery, and Stella Luna courtesy of tv fanatic

I guess the only thing that really differentiated this call from a call with my friend Crystal in Chicago was when Ellen had to dart off to go tape the Ellen Show. Ellen P helped distribute diapers at the LA Diaper Drive last week and is also co-hosting a celebrity diaper drive in New York City that will inspire many to donate diapers and solve this fixable problem.

Inspired by Whitney, Lisa, Huggies, and now Ellen Pompeo, I’ll be kicking off my own diaper drive in Berkeley next week. I’ll also tell you how you can do it too!

Yes, I’m endorsing a product/service here. No, I am not being paid to do so.  It’s called Music Together and two past experieinces made me decide to recommend this activity.

Several of my friends had done Music Together for three consecutive “semesters” and then decided to skip a semester. During that period we met at the park during the time that many of us used to do Music Together and Sarah was saying how much she missed it, couldn’t wait til it started up again, and that not doing it made her see how much she values it. Our park-based playdate was simply filling the hole in her life left by abstaining from Music Together.

Ok, so Sarah (hearts) Music Together. Her enthusiasm made me think hard about how I feel about it. I had been thinking that it’s just too expensive, and then I decided that I agree with Sarah.

Later that day, I read that most North American families only know two or three songs to sing to their children when they are born, and one of them is often 99 Bottles of Beer. And here’s where I relate to how much value you get out of these classes. From Music Together, my husband and I have learned countless songs in that can be sung and re-sung in different ways. The class is designed to teach you, the parent, how to incorporate music into your kid’s life.* Each song can be changed around to include your kid’s name, interests or description of the activities you’re doing. Our teacher, Ryk, also gives great advice on using music to distract while diaper changing or putting on shoes. People, it works.

Julian was obsessed with the CDs that come with the class. He begged for us to put them on and then, as a baby even, would smile and wave when he heard the first song.

*The class is not about building music skills in your kid. In fact, they are welcome to sit absolutely still and silent. The parent or caregiver is the one participating. The theory is that you can develop musical interest and enthusiasm in children by enabling them to watch you have fun with sounds, songs and instruments. Given that we don’t have community music experiences in this culture, our kids will not pick up songs to pass down to their kids unless we make it happen.

So there you have it. My love letter to Music Together.

Find one near you.

And again, this is not an advertisement.

[Photo from Music Together's website]

We were already fans of the Wii for new parents long before we heard of Wii Fit. But now, geeking out with video games and trying to be fit shredheads with Jillian are two great tastes that taste great together. Thanks to Sports Authority, we’re giving away one Wii Fit Plus Board and Jillian Michaels’ new fitness game.

Sports Authority is opening up a new Wii Fit area of their store, called the Wii Fit Plus experience, where you can go and try out some of the games. Moms having more fun? We couldn’t agree more!

If you’re anywhere near the Sports Authority in Torrance, CA on Thursday morning, Jillian Michaels will be there in person whipping folks into shape and giving away video games. The event starts at 9:30 a.m. and runs all morning.

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This sweepstakes is closed.