From the oldies files!

We threw a real birthday party for Holden this year and we tried to do it on the cheap. The funny thing was that we had a great plan — some of it was even well-executed — and we still spent more than $150. Ouch!

I think with hindsight, I could cut that to $55ish.

So, learn from my successes and my mistakes and throw a super-cheap birthday party for your three-year old!

1. Limit the guest list. It cannot be overstated that the easiest way to cut costs is to cut guests. Holden wanted a “big party” so we started off with an evite of all his friends (who come with parents at this age), our whole family (most of whom live out of state and wouldn’t come), my coworkers, and all our friends with kids (who, of course, come with kids).The evite was up to 37 adults before I asked WTF: Is Holden’s idea of a BIG PARTY even this big? On the brink of sending the message; we decided, no, and chose a few kids who were his close friends (the ones he would choose) and their folks. Ahhh, better.
2. Choose a free place! We’ve been to some super fun third birthday parties this year: an all bouncy house party, a play space rental party, a pirate themed party (also with bouncy houses), a kickas$ backyard festival, and had our own fantasies of petting zoos and king cobras. Luckily, we asked the kid where he wanted to celebrate and he chose the local (and free!) playground with picnic tables. Yeehaw.We had a biking theme and brought Holden’s trike and “wobbly bike” for others to try out and encouraged his guests to do the same. It was terrific. Between the kids, we had a scooter and another tricycle to add to the mix. Kids were great about sharing and trying out the different sets of wheels.
3. Let the kid choose the menu (within reason) After all, kid food is cheap food. I offered some choices I could live with: sandwiches, pizza, or Mexican and Holden chose (emphatically) sandwiches. When pressed for specifics, he wanted PBJ. Hecka cheap. He also asked for dry cereal, but I decided that was too weird.The morning of, we cut about 5 sandwiches into quarters and then panicked about what the adults would eat. I went to the grocery store for a last minute run on beverages (water bottles, juice boxes, milk boxes), berries, water melon, green salad to the tune of $83. I think a little pre-planning might have helped.You don’t need to cater the party to the taste of the adults. Worst case, they leave a little hungry and don’t think that three-year olds eat very well. So what. Maybe they’ll snack before coming next year. Best case, they appreciate your simplicity and think that the kid planned a menu of his favorites (in this case it was true!).
4. Limit the decorations.
   Again, this is a place where you can go unnecessarily overboard. For about $30 at the party supply outlet, I got 3 helium balloons (best investment!), blue plates, blue cups, blue napkins, plastic cutlery, a teensy 3 candle, and a white table covering. The solid blue stuff was good because it can all be reused (Hanukkah!!) but we really only used the plates. All the food was finger food (only one mom touched our green salad with a plastic fork, the rest was undisturbed) and drink boxes. I could have probably gotten away with spending $5 on just the balloons, plates, candle, and table coverings.
   (However this pad of animal face placemats is $8 on Amazon and I still use them occasionally to entice my kids to sit down at their spots.)
   
5. Bake your own mini cupcakes. For $5 rather than my $42, you can bake some tasty mini cupcakes if time permits. Instead, I went to one of my favorite bakeries and custom ordered (the minimum) 24 cupcakes. We also baked cookies (because he very specifically asked for cake and cookies, but the kids didn’t go for them, so they were tragically wasted.

My grand total was $257ish = $83 (food) + $30 (decorations + $42 (cupcakes) + $0 (location) + $7 (favors of sand toys to use today and take away) virtual $100 (invitations)

My revised grand total $55ish = $45 (less food) + $5 (less decorations) + $5 (cheaper cupcakes or $12 for a dozen brownie bites) + $7 (reusable favors) $0 (for location and invitations)

Last week, Whitney presented 99 content ideas for your blog in front of a packed house at the MamaBear Family Tech conference, and I was so proud of her. Since her panel was immediately following LeVar Burton (from Roots, Reading Rainbow and Star Trek fame), I grabbed them both to be in a photo with me. Wouldn’t my husband be jealous?!

Then the cool thing happened. A man grabbed us and asked us to be in a photo with him. He said his wife would be so happy to know that he had met us and that she had literally bought every item off our recommended baby registry list. That felt really great. We were his LeVar Burton.

(I think he’s the guy over my shoulder in this photo, so, if you’re reading, I’m sending a big “Hi” to his wife!)

Milo scoops his cheesy rice

Milo spits out his cheesy rice

So, friends out there, I’ll share with you my go-to toddler meals and snacks for my 17-month old and ask for yours in exchange. Help a mama out, please!

When the cupboards, fridge, and freezer are bare, these are the things I grab for Milo at the store:

Breakfast

• Frozen waffles (I get the whole wheat, some big, some little with no accoutrements)
• Scrambled eggs (currently on the outs)
• French toast (Sunny makes a whole loaf at a time and freezes it)
• Puffins (regular flavor or cinnamon)
• Raisins
• Banana (little dude eats one every day)

Lunch

• Almond butter and jelly sandwiches on hearty bread, cut small (we still fear the peanut)
• Cheese sticks
• Hard boiled eggs
• Mixed berries: blackberries, blueberries, strawberries
• Other fruit chopped up when time permits
• Firm tofu, usually teriyaki flavor or “savory” whatever that means
• Applesauce (organic, any flavor) mixed with baby cereal to improve scoopability

Snack

• Just Peas, Just Corn, or Just Mixed Fruit from Just Tomatoes (freeze dried fruits and veggies with no added gunk — they can go stale quickly, so just open one package at a time until you go through it)
• Veggie booty
• Goldfish crackers and their Annie’s bunny equivalents
• Whole wheat pita and hummus
• Crispy Italian style breadsticks (more hummus for dipping)
• Half a Puffet from Peas of Mind

Dinner

• Taquitos from Whole Foods (the reason for going to TWO grocery stores and why I deserved my chocolate cream treat)
• Frozen organic peas (I don’t even cook them)
• Plain yogurt
• Aidell’s teriyaki and pineapple meatballs (they last for about a week in the fridge, so once I open the package, you know what lunch is until they’re gone)
• Whatever we’re eating
• Black bean quesadillas
• Small pieces of chicken or fish (sometimes he likes, sometimes he chucks on the floor)
• Homemade guac (made by me and Holden, who likes food better if he makes it)
• Crispy kale chips or cooked zucchini (whatever vegetable we’re having, he’ll usually try one or more before throwing on the floor
• Amy’s frozen pizza bites with spinach (I heat them for Milo in the microwave and for myself in the toaster oven; Holden tries to eat them frozen because I think it’s strange. Go figure.

More inspiration for lunches from Laptop Lunches (the best lunchbox for little ones, I hope to write about soon!), Kiddley lunchbox ideas, Vegan Lunchbox, 5 favorite convenience foods from ParentHacks, and VegCooking.com.

If you’re already packing a mean lunchbox, check out the contest at Vegan Lunchbox and win a copy of Jennifer’s new book: Vegan Lunch Box: 130 Amazing, Animal-Free Lunches Kids and Grown-Ups Will Love!.

I told you mine, now you tell me yours!

Ten years ago, Whitney and I ran the San Francisco Half Marathon with another friend. We were fairly fit in those days between running and biking but doing a half marathon was no easy feat.

Look how grainy pictures were ten years ago. That's me, Whit, and Ann

On that fateful day, I met the man who would become RookieDad Alec. A mutual friend introduced us shortly after this photo was taken. Since I was sort of in the middle of something (Umm, excuse me, I’m busy running here! Who cares about your friend?!), I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to that cute guy. We officially met a few days later.

What would his or her name be? I read this thread in my babycenter birth club and I just about peed my pants laughing so hard. I tended toward sweet indulgences each time and I had no idea that Taco Bell was such a popular craving food.

My son Sawyer would have to be called Cereal because Cracklin’ Oat Bran is too long (though it goes better with our last name).

My son Milo would have to be Watermelon. Although, at various times, they could have all been named watermelon.

My son Holden would probably have been named Guinness for the unlikely beer preference that started with him. Heck, I didn’t even like the stuff before I was pregnant (so much so that I drank lemonade rather than free beer on my Guinness Factory tour in Dublin). Another possibility is Pumpkin Pie.

So tell me, mamas, what would your baby have been named if after your pregnancy cravings? Cheetos? Milkshake?

Nine hours spent in the Kenmore Live studio in Chicago over the weekend were filled with activity. The forty-five bloggers in attendance got divided into teams and we participated in challenges throughout the day, reality tv-style, while cameras followed us around the studio.

I do not have vegetable chopping skills like a cooking channel contestant, so I experienced some very anxiety producing self-consciousness while seven adults that I did not know watched me chop an onion with a knife bigger and sharper than any I have at home. Other than that short-lived “I am a loser and everyone hates me because I am below average at knife skills” feeling, I had an excellent time.

Here I am tasting the fruits of my labor with new friends Jim and CC.

Other segments of the day included a smoothie demonstration, a tour of Kenmore’s new humungous fridge (which people were kinda freaking out over!), making a pretend vacuum cleaner commercial with four minutes to film it, and voting on other bloggers’ inventive appliance ideas. And then, there was one that was so silly that I will share with you the video of my participation.

The guest speaker was a personal trainer from Chicago. He’s a very handsome dude, as you will see, who was brought in to show us how to burn more calories while you vacuum. This struck me as so ridiculous that I shot up my hand to volunteer immediately. How could I resist the opportunity to test out a hypothetical exercise that involves VACUUMING YOUR DRAPES and DOING ONE-ARMED DIPS? AT THE SAME TIME! I could not. I could not resist. As you can see, my self esteem fully recovered and I went through the motions that really got my heart rate going, but at the end of the day look, as one of the other attendees wrote, like something that would be on Showtime After Dark.

My companion volunteer is Tanis.

What say you, guys? Are you thinking, Well, isn’t that smart? Exercising while cleaning! Or are you thinking something else? Honesty wins points.

P.S. All travel and accommodations were provided by Kenmore. I also received a Kenmore small appliance for my participation in the Kenmore Blogger Summit 2012.

Just getting away on a short flight to San Diego for a few days with my BFF might have been enough to carve a smile onto my face for a week. Add to that the kindness of bloggers and strangers (and a few generous vendors) to a 35-weeks pregnant chick, and it was an amazing experience.

Highlights:
Waking around 4am, we flew in one day early to attend pre-conference events. I went to a Sony Camera adventure day called #PhotoFunMom, It included a new CyberShot WX9; instructions on how to use it; full makeover; some decadent spa treatments (Hello, parafin foot booties!); a guided stroll around the marina, and a photo shoot from celebrity photographer Brian Smith. It was such a treat.

Photo by Kimberley Clayton Blaine

I returned to my roommates, Whitney and Wendy, all glammed up and I kinda felt like I was set for the whole conference… and then…

Ready for Mad Men themed party

What 30 minutes of makeup will do to me

Then I won an iPad at the #OCBloggerBash raffle to benefit Help a Mother Out. Wow. Thanks ywater for new toy.

Following the drinking-for-diapers party, Whitney and I headed over to the Clever Girls Rock Star party. I squished myself into skinny maternity jeans and wore a sparkly tube top she had brought along just in case. We danced with Madonna and Lady GaGa impersonators until our feet were begging for mercy (or was that just me?).

Yes, I finally changed out of that dress!

As of Conference Eve, I couldn’t imagine it getting much better. This BlogHer was massive — between 2600 and 3100 attendees– and being in a sprawling expo center, I felt every step of the bigness (or was I just feeling my own bigness? hmmm). Do you see the size of this lunch space? Dang.

Jane and I are due around the same time with third babies

Just after this stripey belly photo op, there was a Flash Mob at lunch! Can you spot me at the end of this video trying to get a better look?

Being in my third trimester, the saddest part of my weekend was probably that I had to admit that I just wasn’t up for everything. Anything that required too much walking was ruled out. And after a Friday full of too much walking and talking, I had to skip my favorite party. Looks like they had a fabulous, unicorn-butt-eating time without me:

Having missed Sparklecorn, I made myself shake my booty at the CheeseBurgHer party. And I’m so glad. I wore some ugly supportive shoes and danced around until after 11pm.

Heather, Whitney, Wendy at CheeseBurgHer party

I guess there’s always next year. My mind is already racing toward whether and how I can join BlogHer12 in NYC. Will I force my whole family to take a vacation to new york like last year? Will I come alone? Just me and the baby? Of course, it’s too soon to know, I haven’t even met the little guy yet.

My friend Jen was smart, funny, and full of energy. She died on Wednesday after a long, adventurous, and courageous bout with cancer.

I’m not telling you this to ruin your day, but because I thought that watching the video she made on her 40th birthday might stir up some good feelings. She left such a fun image behind, I’m sure fully knowing that folks would be looking for ways to interact with her in the days and years following her death.

Jen spent her time on this planet wisely, inspiring us to enjoy each other, to appreciate our families, to choose our words carefully, to exercise, and to party like it’s 1999.

She was a leader.

Last month, I wanted to make her something to let her know I was thinking of her. I knew that having logged seven years as a cancer patient, she was the recipient of a lot of trinkets, everything from lotions to Kaballah bracelets. I didn’t want to clutter her life. She wrote a column at Web MD with some advice for supporting friends and family who are undergoing cancer treatment. Inspired by her suggestions, I wanted to send something that didn’t require her to DO anything. She said that gifts should come with no strings attached. (Do not ask a patient if they read the book, or called the person, or watched the documentary you recommended.)

Another gift from Jen: She left all of us with a better understanding of how to support someone who is facing a health crisis.

I decided to make a  sign that says FEARLESS, which is Jen’s mantra.

The memory of Jen will stay with me forever. She was tenacious in her journey. She was brave. She made her days count. She was fearless.

Today my husband is in New York with friends and her family, honoring her. Writing this post at home is my own little memorial service.

Please enjoy this video of Jen shaking her booty a couple of months ago. (She gave me permission to share it with you.)

Jen raised millions of dollars for cancer research. To learn more about her journey, visit Cycle For Survival, the fundraising effort she started.

Everything has a last day. — My friend Karen’s four-year old son’s analysis of life and death.

[photo of Jennifer Goodman Linn by Jennifer Lee]

Tragedy, crisis, tsunami, earthquake, war.

While I’m excited to be a panelist on Momversation, this was a scary topic to start with. How do you share world events and tragedies with your kids? Or do you keep your heads buried in the sand completely?

I was talking with Mr. Lady and Redneck Mommy — both with older children — and came across as the frightened mom shielding kids from everything that might scare them. Am I the only one?

Do you shield your kids from tragedies? How honest are you about some of the terrible things that happen in life?

A couple months ago, Whitney casually mentioned that when I was pregnant in the past, I told her too soon, so she never got a chance to guess. Well not this time. I made her sweat it out nearly 13 weeks before I drove over to her house with a lima-bean-style ultrasound and blurted it out. And she never guessed.

This time, I left plenty of clues for her to find, but she missed them all:

1. I see her at least twice a week, and nearly always in that same baggy shirt and drapey sweater. (Trimester 1: hide the bump!)
2. I’m never without a snack. Never ever. I eat like a toddler, about every two hours.
3. I have quite a pot belly for someone who is training for a half marathon, and it just keeps getting bigger.
4. I stopped drinking even on our wild and crazy nights out (though, to be fair, I’m not afraid to put a decoy sangria in front of me for the duration of the evening).
5. I am always chewing my peppermint gum (or hurling).
6. I’m even crazier than usual (see Container Store tantrum) or my radical haircut.
7. I am obsessively reading blogs about moms pregnant with #3 after two boys who ARE (Using Our Words) and are NOT having The Girl (amalah).
8. I started accepting bizarre product pitches for infant products I don’t need, that nobody needs.
9. I tweet passionately about Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
10. When she told me I looked beautiful before our fancy babycenter dinner out, I asked, “am I glowing?”

That’s my big announcement: pregnant with number three. Baby is due in September to excited parents and two fantastic big brothers. Yikes.

I grew up the daughter of a butcher. As a consequence, I’ve always been a meat snob. So much so, that people often mistook me for a vegetarian because I wouldn’t eat whatever crappy shrink-wrapped meat they purchased at the grocery store.

But I was just picky. As a kid, if I didn’t want pork chops for dinner, my dad would shrug and make me a filet mignon. (Now that I’m a mom, I can see why that was easier than picking a fight.)

Fast forward to college and I was an Industrial Engineering major. (What is that, you ask?) It means that I love nerdy factory efficiencies; solving for X and finding the shortest possible route between several destinations. It also means that as an adult, I’ve become an avid meal planner, DVR user, and list-maker.

But, back in college, the lust for efficiency meant that I applauded the factory farming techniques that bring us industrial agriculture as progress.

My path away from factory farming has been slow and deliberate. It was my book club reading of Fast Food Nation that put me off my weekly McDonald’s burger and our subsequent reading of The Omnivore’s Dilemma that turned me into a label reader intent on avoiding ingredients that are not real food.

Oh yeah, and becoming a mom has changed everything too.

Earlier tonight, I caught wind of a corn syrup storm brewing on twitter as I was hustling to prepare a 30 minute dinner in about 47 minutes. Mom-101 was being accused of being a mindless borg (the other night it was a douchebag, she just can’t win!) for criticizing those who would defend the fake sugar people corn-processed artificial sweetener lobby.

Now, I wish that I could sit around the family dinner table with my dad (who died in 1998) and grandfather (also in the meat business his whole life, died in 2006) and really discuss factory farming, grass-fed meat, high fructose corn syrup, and the genius of Michael Pollan. Would they argue that “corn-finished really is better” or would they agree that chickens and cows are made to eat grass? Would they laugh off organic produce or embrace it? Would they tease me about being a chicken owner?

Since my extended family of die-hard Ohio republicans voted for Barack Obama in the last election, I suspect that they would see things my way.

But they would probably tease me about the chickens.

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Once upon a time, I went on a ginormous honeymoon (with my husband Alec). This honeymoon was so big that we nicknamed it The Monstermoon. In preparation, we left our jobs, gave up our apartment, and threw all of our belongings into storage. We booked around-the-world plane flights using the miles I had saved up from a decade of management consulting. It was (going to be) epic!

We planned a six-month route using a combination of five major stopovers supplemented with car rentals, train tickets, and truck safaris: London, Eastern Europe, Southern Africa, Southwest Asia, Australia/New Zealand.

And then.

I got knocked up.

Heather, Holden-to-be, and Alec in Namibia at 6am

Yes, somewhere between Croatia and Swakopmund, Namibia, we picked up a stowaway in the form of a fetus. (It was our honeymoon, people!) When I started falling asleep at dinners and puking behind gas stations, the whole “travel around the world” thing lost some of its luster. I pined for a couch, a television, and a bed.

So, what would my ultimate dream family vacation be? I want to finish what we started.

I want to get the four of us on an airplane to Australia and New Zealand. We would (in my fantasy) buy an adorable VW bus-van thing and drive the vast countryside using a combination of sleeping in our vehicle and staying at affordable luxury resorts. Sydney. The Outback. Snorkeling.

Once we’ve had our fill of Australia, we will put our sweet van on a comfortable ferry over to New Zealand and explore again with renewed vigor. Christchurch. Glow-worm caves. Flight of the Conchords.

My children would love it. My husband and I would remember all that we love about world travel. It would be epic.
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Don’t forget to enter the “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, for a chance to win your own ultimate family vacation. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.