Rookie Moms

An editor from Parents magazine called me recently and asked “What’s the perfect playdate?”  Since I have focused so much on the ideologies of this site (and it’s companion book), I wanted to immediately respond, “One where the moms are having fun.”  But no, she was interested in more of what Parents magazine readers want to (tell themselves they like to) read, so the follow up questions were more about what the children should be doing. What time is ideal? What should the host do if the guest child acts out? Tattle when her mom arrives? Discipline her?

For me, and probably for most readers of this site, these questions are a little hard to field.  We are still playdate rookies, really.  We haven’t had much experience with the drop off playdate.

Since Heather has recently complimented me on my ability to set boundaries, I thought I’d share a related tip with you.  If you are hosting someone, whether it’s a whole family for dinner, or a mom/kid duo for play, be clear when you make the plans about what time you need them to leave.   It is completely reasonable to want your guests to depart so that you can make dinner, get to the gym, return phone calls, or get to SLEEP if you have a baby who DOESN’T!

Today in fact, I need to be using Scarlett’s naptime to work, so I told our playdate that I knew she couldn’t get to our house before 11 am, but I really had to put Scarlett down at 1 pm so I could work for 2 hours before picking up Julian.  If I don’t do this, my playdate is on her own schedule, and if her kid doesn’t need to nap until 2.30, she might lollygag at my house, leaving me with only one hour free before I go on full mommy duty with both kids, inadvertently stressing me out.  So, take a lesson from me.  When you invite someone over for a playdate (even if it’s just a pretend playdate for the mommies to talk while the babies sit in their infant seats) say, “We can’t wait to see you. I can hang out until 3 pm and then I need to do other things.”

Oh, and a bonus tip for preschool playdate havers - meet at the park so that no one has to host, feed everyone, clean up, etc.

I never thought I’d be great at boy stuff, you know the sports and trucks and stuff, but I’m doing pretty good as a boy mom.  I can get into pretty much anything Julian is interested in and have more fun with it than I ever imagined.  So far.

Recently there’s been a lot of talk from him about good guys and bad guys. Not sure he really knows what he means by this, but he says he’s gonna put the bad guys in jail. So maybe he’s headed for a career in law enforcement.

I took him outside today and asked him to show me a good guy and a bad guy so I could take a picture of each one.  He also posed for me as “excited”, “sleeping”, “mad” and “fwustewated”. It was super fun and he loved looking at the pictures and repeating which emotion he was acting out.

I’m sure there’s something educational about doing this as well, but mostly it just gave us a few minutes to bond and laugh.

Above is the good guy and below is the bad guy.

I see an Oscar nomination in his future.

Did you know the Cardboard Box was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame in 1998?

My mom sent me a link to fridgeboxworld.com and I got so excited about it that I had to email the director, April Capil, and ask her to write an activity for us. She has founded a company that produces cardboard boxes especially for the purpose of imaginary play, and she explains, “I brought the cardboard box back via the cardboard-box-with-training-wheels, Fridge Box, as a way of being “green” and encouraging creativity and resourcefulness in the generation behind us. The cardboard box, of course, is one of the few toys made from recycled materials, that can also be recycled when you’re done with it!”

More from April:

“So, you’re sold on bringing back the cardboard box. Now what do you do? Well, start with a box, preferable a big one. It doesn’t have to be a Fridge Box; you don’t need to buy some McGroovy’s rivets (but you can!). Just start with a large empty box and ask your children what it looks like to them. Some may say, “Duh, a box,” but chances are, their imagination isn’t totally atrophied; it’s just been waiting for a workout. Ask them if they think that, together, you could turn this box into something else (if necessary, hit up Mr. McGroovy’s site for some fresh ideas). It’s good to start with a structure (a house or building) or a vehicle (like a train, truck, car, plane, spaceship, submarine, etc.), and let things evolve from there.If you have two or three boxes, even better - see if you can connect them somehow, like a series of boxcars on a track, or a mansion with “West” and “East” wings. Start adding to the box(es) using cutouts from magazines, glue sticks, markers, crayons - whatever you have handy. Feel free to cut out windows, doors, escape hatches… in a couple of hours, you can go to the moon and back in a cardboard rocket with your children - the only limit is their imaginations.

In closing, don’t be afraid your child will scoff at this lowly plaything made of brown kraft. The cardboard box is a favorite of children all over the world, and can provide hours of creative play with minimal costs and a minimal impact on the planet. Best of all, it builds skills that toys with more bells and whistles can’t - creativity and resourcefulness. And who doesn’t need more of that?

By the time you have a toddler, you probably know the best way to keep a small child occupied is to show them something they’ve never seen before (no, not TV).  And how about something that they can smush, squeeze, or secretly taste a tiny nibble of?  Even better!

In our recent blog blast, SusieJ generously imparted some wisdom that must come only with being the mother of four boys.  Her amazing post regarding eating out with the whole family (especially for those of you who aren’t rookies, but are dragging a larger crew around with you) is packed with tips.  My favorite part, however, is the suggestion to ask the chef or waiter for some dough for your children to play with.  I’ve been to a Mexican restaurant where giving the kids tortilla dough is part of their schtick, and it’s just brilliant.  I’ve never thought to make this special request at a different restaurant before, and you can bet your sweet buns that I’m going to start.

The uncooked dough is smooshy and wonderful to touch, and guaranteed to keep kids busy making “doughnuts” and snakes. And if you want to get all Martha on me, you can even bake it when you get home.  Or just toss it and be grateful for a relatively peaceful meal.