My friends sent this one out to celebrate their daughter’s first birthday. Sense of humor, yes?

Remember, do what YOU want to do and the rest will fall in line.

This guest post is by my friend Karen from OffTheMeathook.com, about her son, Laz.

We are among the lucky few who had a baby that slept through the night from a pretty early age. We didn’t really do anything to make it happen – but around 4 months old, our son just stopped waking up at 2 AM and started sleeping for a good 10-hour stretch almost every night. If he did wake in the night, we would leave him to cry in his crib and he would very quickly get himself back to sleep. I probably don’t have to tell you that this kind of thing can really lull you into a false sense of sleep security. There you are, getting used to finally waking up all rested and refreshed, thinking you have made it through the hard part.

Ha! It turns out we had merely passed Level 1 of this multi-player game we call sleep training.

Fast forward to 9 months old, and our son had proudly learned to grab onto those crib rungs and get himself to a standing position. He had also, seemingly overnight, developed a hyper-acute Spidey-sense to detect the very moment that one tiny part of his deep-sleeping, limp body hit the crib mattress, which would jolt him awake and set him into a screaming, crying fit. Unlike the sweet little baby of just a few months prior, who would quickly roll over and settle in the crib and get back to sleep, we found that our kid was now standing up in the crib, hanging on to the edge, to continue his tantrum from a fully upright position.

The problem? Once he was standing up, he couldn’t figure out how to get down again. So he would cry standing up, until he fell asleep standing up, at which point the fact that he was standing up would jolt him back awake. And the cycle would start all over again, ad nauseum. We had a few nights of feeling exhausted, frustrated, and powerless before we found a way to wrest back control. Of course, we didn’t know if it would work – but we felt relieved to have something to try.

The plan: to “emotionlessly” and silently lay him down over and over until he went to sleep. The first night it took about 50 times of laying him down before he finally got to sleep, sniffling and sobbing. I don’t have to tell you that it was a super hard night. But the next night, it only took 30 times. And the night after that – 10 times. The fourth night, after laying him down just three times he figured the jig was up, and passed out.

What this experience taught me is that my husband and I can handle these parenting hurdles so much better if we work together on a plan that involves specific actions we can take. We both took so much solace in the idea that we were trying something consistent to solve the problem, even though there were really challenging moments (OK, hours.) Luckily, in this case, it worked out. But if it hadn’t, I now know that the right thing for us would have been to make a new plan and try it until we got it right.

It’s been about a month since all this happened, and it’s still working great. If he needs to be laid down at all, it generally takes fewer than 5 times before he gives up and remains lying down. Last night he was acting up at bedtime and standing sentinel at the edge of the crib, whimpering. I went to lay him down and something fabulous happened – he laid himself down and went to sleep.

I love Karen’s rookie mom stories about Laz. We have more if you want to read them: their international baby travels, their nice stuff, their cute monthly photos!

Little pre-walkers need lots of practice and encouragement. Walk around slowly holding junior’s hands and take crazy cute pictures.

If possible, get someone to take a picture from behind with baby and your adult hands supporting him – also adorable!

[photo of my family by alex cave]

Reader Alana shared a terrific tip for keeping an at-home date night creative for less than five bucks:

Head over to the thrift store and buy a few new board games. Play with your partner after your baby goes to bed. Done and done.

Nala’s games were all half off at the thrift store

She added a favorite family recipe of Fettuccine Alfredo to the date. When I try this assignment over the weekend, I plan to add a fancy dessert (I would do anything for Whole Foods’ chocolate cream pie) turning the grand total of the date from about $5 into about $11.

Please share your fun at-home date night ideas with us in the comments!

photo: The Macs

Before we get all in a tizzy about first birthday parties and the cuteness you are about to behold, allow me to confess that I think the first birthday party is optional. Parents doing something momentous to celebrate their own first year of parenthood also seems like a fine idea (first overnight away?) and well, if baby is sleeping at home or at Grandma’s house, terrific.

Ok, now that’s out of the way. Ideas from around the web:

Invitation

This one is from tinyprints.

This one is from minted.com

and this one is from Etsy

Electronic invitations are obviously cheaper, greener, but frankly not as gush-worthy cute as the ones you’ll find to buy online. I couldn’t get over my own obsession with having a mailed invitation as a keepsake, so I put one together on Shutterfly when Julian turned one. Kid #2? She probably got an email. I don’t even remember.

Food

Go crazy with homemade, thematic snacks a la Martha Stewart or order pizza, make a fruit rainbow platter and call it a day. Since your baby and his “friends” may have a limited menu, it’s hard to please everyone. My personal go-to for parties at my house is my local taqueria. I order a pint of black beans, grilled chicken, spanish rice, and carnitas. We put out tortillas, cheese, salsa, and guacamole. Everyone can make their own burrito and the babes can eat black beans, rice and shredded cheese with their fingers. In the backyard, please! Add some bowls of diced fruit for color.

Decoration
If you read a lot of Internetz, you know that a decorated birthday buffet table with printed signs is all the rage.  Don’t let this make you feel inadequate, but I am posting a few pictures that none of us can ever live up to — because we are hosting a party and have a 12-month old to take care of!

John and Sherry at YoungHouseLove provided complete explanations on their printed food cards at baby Clara’s first birthday.

Theme
The site One Charming Party is a great resource if you want an amazingly beautiful, coordinated party. It’s an online store that sells party plans which detail the decorations, food, activities, and more for a number of different themes from superhero to mermaid to country fair-themed.

This is a preview of the 50-page manual you receive as a pdf with all your instructions, including cupcake toppers and invitation templates.

For one-year olds, I am most in favor of a simple theme, such as their first initial or polka dots because really, are they passionate about Dora or football yet? Unlikely. I met a professional party planner who told me that children’s books are her favorite source of inspiration for a theme. I like the intent, and the Hungry Caterpillar party pictured above is beautiful, but it seems overwhelmingly complicated.

Source: fowlsinglefile.blogspot.com via Kaci on Pinterest

Three do-able decorations

Now that I’ve intimidated inspired you with pictures that are literally out of Martha Stewart’s media empire, I leave you with three ideas that won’t break the bank or your back when it comes to adding pizzaz to your party.

1. Rainbow streamers above the door. Wendy made this special doorway for Augie’s birthday and it’s delightfully simple.

Source: wendolonia.com via Whitney on Pinterest

 

2. A string of balloons. I always hit the party store and get a bunch of balloons on the morning of my kid’s parties. They fill up any dull space in your house or yard and toddlers go nuts for them. (They are also terrible choking hazards, so keep them up high and monitor any interaction with balloons and one-year olds closely.)  This one is from the Young House Love first birthday party.

3. Pinwheels. Buy them at a party store, dollar store, or toy store — or make them if you are super crafty — and use them as decorations. My cousin stuck 20 store-bought pinwheels in the grass to create a festive border for her son’s party at a park. Then, send them home with the kids as favors. Double duty!

Source: deckthehalls-christmas.blogspot.com via Whitney on Pinterest

Source of letter “E” party: marthastewart.com via Ellen on Pinterest

Do you have any easy first birthday party ideas to share?

I love to spend a long evening out with my friends eating off of each other’s plates and splitting three desserts (unless there are more than two of us, in which case, I expect more desserts). If leisurely nights away from home have become a ridiculous fantasy like jetting off to Paris for a pedicure, then it is time to bring girls night out back home for a while.

Invite a few of your best ladies over for a specific themed gathering that starts after you put your child to bed. Here are five ideas to get you started:
1. Craftapallooza: you supply the project ideas and a few odds and ends, your friends bring their extra bits and you leave with some fun new treasure (or trash) and some giggles. Example: turn your old clothes into scrappy plush toys or kids pants. (We have a gajillion and two ideas in our crafty section or in our book for this).

2. Fondue Party: you supply the chocolate and cheese and your friends bring the dippables. When’s the last time you brought a pineapple and a bag of marshmallows to a party? We thought so. Funny and cheap.

3. Movie Binge: sitting in front of the TV is much more fun if you have a mission. Watch a coordinated double feature like Knocked Up and This is Forty or three back-to-back episodes of Downton Abbey. Choose a current TV show that you are storing on your DVR or stream a new release from amazon, hulu, or netflix. Convince your friends to make it a weekly event and your husband might start to look forward to his night off.

4. Clothing Swap: for a girls-only party. Clean your closet out and invite your pals to bring the good stuff over to see if someone will appreciate. Trade in your outfits for some that will suit you better. Please do not bring a shirt from a 10K you did in 2003.  Please DO bring a shirt from Anthropologie that is totally cute, but would look better on someone whose shoulders are broader, wrists less bony, skin darker, or likes to dress sluttier.

5. Cooking party: Invent an elaborate menu and assign different ingredients to different guests. Boss them around when they arrive. Eat a several course meal that lasts until midnight. Assign clean up duties as well.

I hope that you still get to sample three desserts and you have so much fun that you make it a regular event!

This guest post is from our real-life friend Amanda, rookie mom to baby Felix.

Before I had a baby, I mildly judged the few mothers with whom I spent time for being upset when their babies would cry. I figured, “Hey, babies cry. That’s what they do. Relax. Let me finish telling you my story about my big break up/realization about my father/the annoying woman on the plane.”

I was correct in guessing that it would be different if I ever had my own baby. But I was wrong about the reason.

I thought it would be hormonal (OK, maybe it is). I thought it would stem from some primordial sense of being a Mother. (It doesn’t. I really don’t feel like a Mother because I keep on thinking I have to return him to the library any day now.) It stems from knowing little Felix, and knowing that he’s a pretty happy guy and he really only seems to cry if he’s distressed.

When he was younger (newborn), his distress was pretty much all food-related and very easy (lucky for me) to allay. As he gets older (10 mos now), I think some of his distress is sometimes more related to liking the frequent attention he receives from his parents, who both work part-time and have no other children and sometimes dare to not engage with him while he’s awake. So, sometimes when I’m trying to clean a mess, get his dinner ready, get myself ready to take him on a walk, send out a quick work email… some of those times, Felix cries. And I think, “Hmm, I could go to him. I could hold him and type this email/puree this spinach/brush my teeth (but not put on my pants) one-handed.

But then I think, ” Hmm, would I be spoiling him if I did that?”

So, then I don’t go to him, and his crying gets more frantic and I question my mothering decisions: is it better for him to cry sometimes? Does it help him get out pent-up energy? Does it teach him the important life lesson that you can’t always get what you want? Or, am I stunting his emotional development by denying him a little affection?

I’m pretty sure that it’s not the latter, to be honest, but here’s my trick to sparing myself the quandary: I pretend that Felix has an older brother. Let’s call him Javier.

It’s realistic to me that if Felix had siblings, I would sometimes have to prioritize their needs over Felix’s. So, I pretend I’m taking care of Javier instead of pureeing spinach/brushing teeth/writing emails. Right now I’m giving Javier a bath, say, and I would never abandon Javier in the tub to possibly drown (Javier and Felix are very close in age) to mollify Felix’s every little fancy. So, there it is. Sometimes, I invoke Javier to get other stuff done and it really minimizes the guilt I feel in leaving Felix screaming on his toxic-free playmat.

Photo of Javier in the bath:

One year olds will make anything a toy — like that tube of butt cream or disposable coffee cup you keep trying to throw away — but since those don’t make the best birthday presents, we have some ideas for you. Here are our favorite go-to best gifts for a one-year old:

If you want a gift for under $10, this Playskool shape sorter is my fave. I’ve purchased it about five times for my own kids and small friends after testing others.

Need somebody smaller to love? Toddlers of all genders love to cuddle up with dolls. This one’s a cutie and less than $20. You can find African-American, Hispanic, or Asian dolls from JC Toys in the same general price range.

My little guys love to push a baby in a stroller like this one. There are several models for about $20. Baby beds and other accessories are a good bet.

Speaking of WHEELS, boys and girls love vehicles. Green Toys makes their popular dump truck in two flavors to suit your preferences for about $25. The trucks are super durable and made from recycled milk jugs so I’m willing to pay a little more.

Whitney’s kids always had fun pushing around play food or anything at all in this adorable and durable shopping cart from Melissa & Doug (about $50).

Another big hit from Whitney’s family, this ball pounder from Melissa + Doug teaches cause and effect, fun with balls, and the joy of whacking things. Just keep it far from your glass coffee table, ok? It retails for less than $20.

This Radio Flyer wagon is so well-loved at my son’s daycare that I wish we had it at home. Kids take turns riding and pushing. If you don’t have a friend to drive around, your teddy bear will also enjoy the ride (Or more likely, my left shoe and our remote control).

Related:
Clutter-free gifts for babies and toddlers
First birthday party ideas
Favorite ride-on toys for toddlers and wobblers

I gave Julian this Radio Flyer “bike” on the morning of his first birthday, because he had just started walking and it fulfilled my fantasy of the stylish, classic gifts I would be giving him throughout his childhood. Now he wants nothing but Pokemon cards and Webkinz, which was not in my dreamy vision of parenting a little boy, but I am still adjusting that vision on a daily basis.

We asked you guys on Facebook which ride-on toys you like for inside the house. It seemed a useful brainstorm as we head into the season of long indoor play sessions. A ride-on toy is sort of my favorite big gift for baby’s first Christmas — or second Christmas — depending on how young your baby is on Christmas.

Here are some of the picks from readers. I’m giving you the product name so you can look for it on Craig’s List, but I’m linking to Amazon for your shopping convenience.

The Pewi Ride On Toy and Walking Buddy by Ybike. Works on carpet as well as smooth floors.

Gobble and Go Hippo for riding, pushing, and putting blocks inside.

Cozy Coupe which also comes in a pastel color scheme and a third option which is hot pink with glitter, natch.

Fisher Price Tough Trike which comes in many flavors: Diego, Barbie, Dora, Harley-Davidson, as well as regular primary colors.

The Wheely Bug was named by several of you, and I happened to notice this adorable picture of Rebecca Woolf‘s twins on their bugs on Instagram this week.

The Scuttlebug comes in ladybug, bumble bee, and dragon-fly designs.

Svan Creativity Cruiser was suggested with the comment “Totally don’ t have to hide it when company comes.”

I personally think this is beautiful, but I’d love to hear a debate about whether this non-kidcentric aesthetic is sort of a middle finger to little kids or if perhaps the Dora Tough Trike is a middle finger to parents.

Which of these ride-on toys do you find most compelling?

Note: We are affiliates of Amazon.com

Seriously. Is someone you love napping right now? If you click on one more link, you’re just depriving yourself from an opportunity to lay down.

I do this to myself every day. I’m so so so tired and then the kid’s asleep and I’m clicking away. The few times I’ve been disciplined, it’s been so lovely. You should try it. The second your little monkey conks out, run into your bedroom, rip off your pants and jump into bed. Close your eyes. Stay.

This PSA was originally published in 2006 before I had the nasty habit of taking the phone into every room with me and doing the same addictive clicking on that device.

I just spent the last 15 minutes testing out this simple baby food recipe from weelicious: Eat Your Greens baby food puree so I could share it with you with some authority. I first saw it in my bloggy friend Catherine McCord’s new book: Weelicious: 140 Fast, Fresh, and Easy Recipes (which was sent to me as a gift) but this recipe is on her blog too so you can find it right away.

I vote two thumbs up. I spent a couple minutes gathering the ingredients and rough chopping the vegetables while my water came to a boil, about six minutes steaming the veggies, then another three blending it all together. Fast, right? Find the full instructions for this puree on Catherine’s blog.

And it tasted good enough that I wanted to spread it on a cracker right then and there (which I know because some got on my fingers — oops!). Since my whole point was to make a few creative combos for my 13-month old, I resisted the urge to eat the baby food as a dip (but you totally could!). Here’s a glamourous video promo for the book if you are interested.

If you have never been, let me introduce you to Weelicious.com, a terrific FREE resource for parents looking for baby, toddler, and family food recipes with loads of pretty pictures and an easy search feature. I’m super impressed with the book so far. In the next few weeks, I’m going to put the “one family, one meal” mantra to the test and see if my big people like the food as much as I expect my baby to. I’ll be sure to let you know if we discover anything interesting.

Making baby food from scratch not your thing? Find other cool DIY projects for parents.

[Photo of baby food used with permission by Catherine McCord]

Taking pictures of new standers, cruisers, and walkers is most adorable from the backside. Allow me to demonstrate.