This guest post is by my friend Karen from OffTheMeathook.com, about her son, Laz.

We are among the lucky few who had a baby that slept through the night from a pretty early age. We didn’t really do anything to make it happen – but around 4 months old, our son just stopped waking up at 2 AM and started sleeping for a good 10-hour stretch almost every night. If he did wake in the night, we would leave him to cry in his crib and he would very quickly get himself back to sleep. I probably don’t have to tell you that this kind of thing can really lull you into a false sense of sleep security. There you are, getting used to finally waking up all rested and refreshed, thinking you have made it through the hard part.

Ha! It turns out we had merely passed Level 1 of this multi-player game we call sleep training.

Fast forward to 9 months old, and our son had proudly learned to grab onto those crib rungs and get himself to a standing position. He had also, seemingly overnight, developed a hyper-acute Spidey-sense to detect the very moment that one tiny part of his deep-sleeping, limp body hit the crib mattress, which would jolt him awake and set him into a screaming, crying fit. Unlike the sweet little baby of just a few months prior, who would quickly roll over and settle in the crib and get back to sleep, we found that our kid was now standing up in the crib, hanging on to the edge, to continue his tantrum from a fully upright position.

The problem? Once he was standing up, he couldn’t figure out how to get down again. So he would cry standing up, until he fell asleep standing up, at which point the fact that he was standing up would jolt him back awake. And the cycle would start all over again, ad nauseum. We had a few nights of feeling exhausted, frustrated, and powerless before we found a way to wrest back control. Of course, we didn’t know if it would work – but we felt relieved to have something to try.

The plan: to “emotionlessly” and silently lay him down over and over until he went to sleep. The first night it took about 50 times of laying him down before he finally got to sleep, sniffling and sobbing. I don’t have to tell you that it was a super hard night. But the next night, it only took 30 times. And the night after that – 10 times. The fourth night, after laying him down just three times he figured the jig was up, and passed out.

What this experience taught me is that my husband and I can handle these parenting hurdles so much better if we work together on a plan that involves specific actions we can take. We both took so much solace in the idea that we were trying something consistent to solve the problem, even though there were really challenging moments (OK, hours.) Luckily, in this case, it worked out. But if it hadn’t, I now know that the right thing for us would have been to make a new plan and try it until we got it right.

It’s been about a month since all this happened, and it’s still working great. If he needs to be laid down at all, it generally takes fewer than 5 times before he gives up and remains lying down. Last night he was acting up at bedtime and standing sentinel at the edge of the crib, whimpering. I went to lay him down and something fabulous happened – he laid himself down and went to sleep.

I love Karen’s rookie mom stories about Laz. We have more if you want to read them: their international baby travels, their nice stuff, their cute monthly photos!

This guest post is from our real-life friend Amanda, rookie mom to baby Felix.

Before I had a baby, I mildly judged the few mothers with whom I spent time for being upset when their babies would cry. I figured, “Hey, babies cry. That’s what they do. Relax. Let me finish telling you my story about my big break up/realization about my father/the annoying woman on the plane.”

I was correct in guessing that it would be different if I ever had my own baby. But I was wrong about the reason.

I thought it would be hormonal (OK, maybe it is). I thought it would stem from some primordial sense of being a Mother. (It doesn’t. I really don’t feel like a Mother because I keep on thinking I have to return him to the library any day now.) It stems from knowing little Felix, and knowing that he’s a pretty happy guy and he really only seems to cry if he’s distressed.

When he was younger (newborn), his distress was pretty much all food-related and very easy (lucky for me) to allay. As he gets older (10 mos now), I think some of his distress is sometimes more related to liking the frequent attention he receives from his parents, who both work part-time and have no other children and sometimes dare to not engage with him while he’s awake. So, sometimes when I’m trying to clean a mess, get his dinner ready, get myself ready to take him on a walk, send out a quick work email… some of those times, Felix cries. And I think, “Hmm, I could go to him. I could hold him and type this email/puree this spinach/brush my teeth (but not put on my pants) one-handed.

But then I think, ” Hmm, would I be spoiling him if I did that?”

So, then I don’t go to him, and his crying gets more frantic and I question my mothering decisions: is it better for him to cry sometimes? Does it help him get out pent-up energy? Does it teach him the important life lesson that you can’t always get what you want? Or, am I stunting his emotional development by denying him a little affection?

I’m pretty sure that it’s not the latter, to be honest, but here’s my trick to sparing myself the quandary: I pretend that Felix has an older brother. Let’s call him Javier.

It’s realistic to me that if Felix had siblings, I would sometimes have to prioritize their needs over Felix’s. So, I pretend I’m taking care of Javier instead of pureeing spinach/brushing teeth/writing emails. Right now I’m giving Javier a bath, say, and I would never abandon Javier in the tub to possibly drown (Javier and Felix are very close in age) to mollify Felix’s every little fancy. So, there it is. Sometimes, I invoke Javier to get other stuff done and it really minimizes the guilt I feel in leaving Felix screaming on his toxic-free playmat.

Photo of Javier in the bath:

Seriously. Is someone you love napping right now? If you click on one more link, you’re just depriving yourself from an opportunity to lay down.

I do this to myself every day. I’m so so so tired and then the kid’s asleep and I’m clicking away. The few times I’ve been disciplined, it’s been so lovely. You should try it. The second your little monkey conks out, run into your bedroom, rip off your pants and jump into bed. Close your eyes. Stay.

This PSA was originally published in 2006 before I had the nasty habit of taking the phone into every room with me and doing the same addictive clicking on that device.

Go on, it’s semi-social, you can bring your baby or toddler, and you can GTD. (That’s “get things done” in Internet language. Seriously.)
When our firstborns were too little to know the difference between Target and the Children’s Museum, Whitney and I would meet with the boys to do some shopping and wonder if it counts as an outing. I say “yes”.

Meeting a friend out for errands is your 51st Rookie Mom challenge! Not ready yet? Pick another challenge.

Once, I met my (child-free) pal, Olivia, and we wandered the aisles at Whole Foods toting the little man in his cart and handing him banana chips at his every sign for “more”. We chatted amiably and I went home with ice cream. Ice cream purchase really put the kibosh on post-Whole Foods coffee dates, so plan carefully.

Thingamababy offers 10 excellent tips for how to get out of the house and shop all day with a toddler. He includes a great suggestion on what to keep on hand and what to leave in the car. If you’ve tried to take your toddler anywhere and run into frustration, you’ll appreciate the advice.

Nine months on, nine months off? Something like that.

Your 46th weekly challenge is to obtain some new-to-you clothes that you’ll enjoy along with an afternoon of girlfriend hilarity all for the cost of some cucumber-scented spa water. The end of the year is a perfect time to plan a clothing swap.

Whitney totally hates this photo series but I love it. To be fair, she was trying on outfits from the “pass-through” pile.

We’ve mentioned this idea here and there, but here are the instructions for how to throw a clothing swap on your own.

I have hosted no fewer than nine clothing swaps with my stylish friends and spawned at least three known copycats. For the record, this is better as a a no-kids-allowed event (or just pre-crawlers), so let Daddy take the bambino out for a hike while you get some well-deserved girlfriend-time. The whole event can take less than two hours.

Here’s the step-by-step to planning and hosting:
(kind of long, but I want to make it mindless for you)

1. Stake out a day. Work with your partner or a babysitter to find a good day for the swap. Plan around naps and try to avoid mealtime so that you are not trying to be Martha Stewart while you are running around your living room half-naked.
2. Invite the ladies. Send out an evite to all your potentially willing friends.
3. Purge. Set aside a good hour and clean out your closet of stuff you haven’t worn in a year or wouldn’t want to wear right now even if the proper situation presented itself. Be brutal. If you’re feeling those flipping annoying post-partum body issues, get a good friend to help. (Do your marriage the small favor of not asking your husband if your “butt looks big in this” because it probably does!)
4. Merchandise. Clean and fold the things for the swap. Bust out the iron even. Create a separate bag of clothes so ugly you’d be embarrassed for your friends to see (stained t-shirts for instance) — these can go in the pass-through pile (modeled by Whitney as “Before”)
5. Think about how you’ll set up your space for the event. Is there a mirror handy in the living room or will you have to tidy up your room too? Is there space for hanging clothes? If you have room to “merchandise” your stuff, it is a little more fun to “shop”.
6. Make little signs — use the computer or write on index cards what the categories of clothing are so that guests can sort their offerings. (Download our labels here.) And, have a few blank labels available for the day of.

On the day of the event: tidy up, wear cute underwear, get some appetizers or have your friends bring them, and wait for everyone to bring you new clothes! We usually start out browsing the piles casually enough and trying stuff on here and there. Once you try on a cute spangly dress, it is fair game for someone else to have a go at it. Let your friends decide who really looks best in it. I am notorious for trying to get my hands on everyone’s good stuff.

Afterward, get someone to help you load the car or take stuff directly to the charity.

Note: we often have a grab bag category, maternity, men’s clothes, shoes, and baby clothes.

If you’re still not convinced, here are my top eight reasons to host a clothing swap:

1. eat drink and be merry (just easy snacks and spa water)
2. enjoy a fun afternoon with friends
3. feel good about donating to a worthy cause
4. get a heap of new clothes for free (especially good if you have a changing-mom-body!)
5. get a license to buy a couple new pieces for all your thrift
6. play dress-up and get silly
7. purge yourself of unwanted clothes
8. re-gift your recent holiday loot (I like to hold mine in January)

… I’m getting off my soapbox now.

So, do you love or shove the clothing swap for moms?

When my husband had to be gone for six whole nights on business leaving me alone with baby Holden, I panicked and called in my smartest mom friends for advice.

They had perfectly reasonable suggestions about lowering my expectations, keeping it simple, and making plans to keep from going stir crazy.

This tip came from my friend Molly, a mom of two, and thus an expert:

Think about one thing you might do if it were just you on your own, or perhaps if you were going to play host to a dear friend who you rarely see and wanted to impress. Visit a museum with an important art show? Take a drive to a beautiful place and go for a hike to see the magnificent view? Go to a cafe and chat with the strangers at the tables nearby just to feel the buzz of the city?

Now then – dive in and do that thing with your boy even if it seems like it might be stressful. I promise, it won’t be.

It will be fantastic and fulfilling because it will be the first time you intentionally planned something for your shared enjoyment and edification. A touchstone for all the many many times you will do things together, just you two, in the coming years.

Not wanting to let Molly or myself down, I saddled up the boy with most of his corresponding gear and we tried a new brunch spot, just the two of us. Me with a cocoa and him in his nasty highchair. We flirted with folks at other tables and shared our food. He ate some of my pancakes, scrambled eggs, and strawberries (I did have to pull the pancakes and strawberries apart in a decidedly un-adult fashion) while I licked some of his cheesy cauliflower off my hands.

What would you do with your baby if you treated him like a dear friend you wanted to impress? Now, go do it!

This is your 45th weekly challenge.

Today is the day to dig way into your closet and pull out something that doesn’t get enough love. Aren’t you pretty much guaranteed that others will be dressed in more eye-catching outfits than yours?

My son will be dressed as Santa Claus, so I will be an elf. The hat is the key to this outfit, so I’ve got a lot of freedom with my choices from the neck down. I will be wearing a red dress, a green scarf, green knee highs and purple pointy-toed shoes.

Oh, and I allowed the woman at the nail salon to do this to me.

So, what’s your plan? If not a costume, do you have a sweater that’s just a little too orange? A skirt that’s a little too weird? What is stored in your dresser that you have been avoiding? Pull it out and, as Tim Gunn would say, make it work.

This is your 44th weekly challenge. Read the rest of our challenges for Rookie Moms and complete them all!

Your 42nd weekly challenge is a seasonal photo assignment. You can’t take a bad picture in a pumpkin patch. Good assignment, right? Find a pumpkin patch. Go. Take pictures.

Use hay as a background, too.

photo: backpacktobuggy

photo: Marketing Mommy

If you do this, we would LOVE to see your photos on our rookiemoms facebook page. Is your baby too little or is it the wrong season where you live? Choose another challenge.

Most classes for babies provide a free trial experience. Take advantage of these freebies before committing to a paid class. Try to talk your other mama friends into joining you so it’s the most fun for YOU.

Your 41st weekly challenge is to contact a local music, dance, or exercise class for moms and babies, and arrange to take a free class.

• Kindermusik Village classes are for babies under 18 months and each class is 45 minutes long.
• Gymboree classes for babies focus on either music or playing – you can choose.
• Music Together is mixed age classes up to age five and the classes are an hour long.
• The Little Gym starts as young as four months old with a general movement and socialization curriculum.
• My Gym is a children’s “fitness center” that starts classes with parent participation at age – get this – six weeks!

You may find that your local independent music or movement centers for kids offer a free trial visit as well. Have you tried any? Let us know!

Not ready for this rookie mom challenge? Go back and start with an easier one.

This week’s challenge is a summery activity for babies that can sit up on their own; this is your 34th challenge.

These ten-month olds (Theo, Del, Julian and Paxton) are having so much fun slurping on plastic toys and touching one another’s toes that they don’t realize their moms are having fun too.

Ingredients for a successful Margarita Mommies Group:

1. Shady backyard on a nice, warm day
2. Kiddie Pool with a couple inches of water
3. Mom-sized lawn chairs with toes dipping in the water
4. Plastic pitcher of margaritas with plastic cups
5. Splashing babies (diapers optional) — keep them in the shade or slather heavily with sunscreen before the party starts!
6. Daddies available to pick up mommy and baby afterward

This was suggested by my hairdresser as an awesome way to enjoy the summer!

Did you complete this challenge? Share your story and pictures.

• Comment below with details.
• Share a picture with us on Facebook.

Do you hate this challenge? Yeah, we’ve heard that one before. Go on, tell us why you hate it in our comments. Then pick another activity from our challenge list.

Don’t miss the opportunity to let someone else entertain your baby. Go to a bookstore during story time. Some will even serve you a latte. This is your 32nd rookie mom challenge.

Many of these storytimes happen during the work day but some are on weekends. Use the “search by zip code” feature on the Barnes & Noble website to find when story time happens. Search carefully; there are different events for babies from preschoolers. Or find a local indie bookstore near you.

If you have a photo of you and your little sidekick chilling at the bookstore, post it to our facebook page!

Misty’s found a way for her baby to enjoy some summertime water fun: Fill baby’s high chair tray with water for warm weather splashing!

I love this activity for hot, housebound babies everywhere (especially those of us jailed by an older napping child).

Baby Madeline’s high chair has a very deep lip, enough to hold about half an inch of water. Misty filled that with tap water, stripped her down, and let her splash around as she wants. It is amusing to see her reaction when she splashes herself, and her obvious enjoyment of the new experience.

[This fun trick discovered on ParentHacks]