If your baby likes to sleep in the car seat, count your blessings. Better to have a car-sleeper than a car-screamer.

You’ve also got the perfect excuse to patronize nearby drive-through businesses as a destination. My favorites were the slightly-far In-N-Out and the not-very-close drive-through Starbucks.

The real magic can happen when you’re creative and persuasive (and grateful!). You might get normal businesses to serve you curbside if business is slow.

As I was doing our environment a disservice by driving around to keep Holden asleep, I called up a local baby emporium (Baby World on Telegraph Avenue in Oakland) and asked if they could possibly come outside and take my credit card and bring me a size Medium sleep sack and a feeding chair. Score! I’ve had luck with this technique with regular retail stores like kids clothes and non-drive-through restaurants. Most businesses are happy to take your money outside if you’re polite and explain the situation. Finally, cash makes it easier.

If your baby is a car napper, keep the phone number of such helpful businesses in your phone.

This post is part of a series sponsored by Philips AVENT in support of the launch of the double electric Comfort Pump.

Pumping breast milk was still a mystery to me as I made secret lists of baby names and notified my boss of my pregnancy. I learned about it when my co-worker Mimi, newly back to work after having her first baby, invited me over to her house to show me the ropes of having a newborn.  That those ropes would include a tour of her freezer was totally news to me.

What rookie moms need to know about going back to work while breastfeeding:

1- You will need to own a breast pump. This is a device with a small motor that uses suction to extract milk from your breasts into bottles. (Not shown in this picture is the plug.)Place the suction cups over your breasts and press the power button. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, goes the pump, squeezing your nipples, making milk flow through the funnel into the bottle. When you are finished, you’ll unscrew the bottle tops that have the funnels attached and replace them with a regular flat cap for storing the bottles in a lunchbox or small cooler during the rest of your workday. At home, remove the flat cap and replace with a rubber nipple. Now someone else can feed your baby breast milk from the bottle.

2- Pumping will require a private place to be and a 15-20 minutes break a couple of times each day. Your company is probably legally required to supply this for you and if you are not the first woman to go back to work and continue nursing at your workplace, your HR person will know exactly what you need and help you make it happen. If you work at a big enough place, ask someone who has already taken a maternity leave to show you how she does it. [Read the stories we've compiled in our pumping project to feel less alone.]

3- Stockpiling milk during your maternity leave is a really good idea. Thanks to Mimi’s advice, I began pumping about a month before returning to work. My goal was to have enough milk in my freezer to provide a cushion so that when I went back to work, I didn’t have so much pressure to produce the same amount of milk my baby was consuming in my absence from the get-go.  Pumping takes some practice. Getting used to the pump at home will help you relax more when you return to work.

4- Buy some Sharpies. You may develop a different system, but here’s what I did: Locked myself in the “Maternity” closet at my office; pumped into the bottles that came with my breast pump; stored them in a small lunch bag in my office’s refrigerator; brought the lunch bag and my pump home each day; transferred breastmilk into resealable bags for storing in the freezer; washed and dried bottles and pump parts for the next day. I would use a Sharpie to mark the date on the bag. When my husband or nanny used milk from the freezer, they would use the oldest bag first. Breast milk can be reheated from a frozen state for up to four months.

5- You get what you get and you don’t get upset. KIDDING! You will definitely get upset at some point. Frustrating things that pumping moms face are: inconveniently timed work activities that compromise your pumping schedule; having to remember to bring all the components to work each day — and that one time you forget the lunchbox and have to hide a bottle of breast milk in a mug of ice in your desk drawer; producing less milk than you hoped for; co-workers not understanding your need to pump. Other pumping moms will have experienced those disappointments. Feel free to complain to us.

While this post is sponsored by Philips AVENT, all advice and experiences are my own. Heather and I pumped for five breastfed babies between us and we strongly believe that whether you’re going to pump for a couple of months or a whole year, you should treat yourself to a good double electric pump. You’ll be glad you did. (Read more about the Philips AVENT Comfort Pump on Amazon.com >)

Photo Credit: dianaschnuth via Compfight cc

If you have the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth then don’t be a sucker and buy Your Fussy Baby like I did. YFB is entirely included in HCHB. And I know this because I read both of them cover to cover when I had a super fussy baby.

When my first baby cried a lot, it was stressful and crazy-making. I had been told by people whom I trusted that six weeks was the “peak of fussiness” so when he was off-the-hook screamy at five and a half weeks, I broke down and bought the second book. (A remarkably similar thing happened with my third baby only I could instantly order with my mobile phone in the middle of the night rather than drive to the book store with my hair and clothes a mess!)

Don’t get me wrong. I love Dr. Weissbluth’s advice and techniques — pretty much everything about him except his editing skills. He is rock solid. He provides tangible steps that you can follow and reassuring words that this will not be your life forever.

Imagine my surprise when, after reading the entirety of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, I felt that we needed to escalate to Dr. Weissbluth’s other book, more specifically addressing fussy babies, and cracking it open to learn that I had read every single word of advice already. Brilliant marketing, Doctor.

Bottom line: Buy the bigger book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and you’ll have his expert hand-holding all the way up through your child’s teen years rather than just the first three months.

My very good friend, Crystal, lives in Chicago as a writer with her two sons, Harry and Max. She wrote about starting a Ladies Poker Club when Harry was an infant. Harry is a mere one day younger than Milo and sadly they’ve never met in person. We fully expect that one day they’ll be using Crystal’s instructions in poker for their own mis-education.

Poker is not very motherly. But that’s exactly what makes it so great. Every once in awhile, it feels good to stretch outside the current identity the world has assigned to you. All those people in the grocery store line who think they have you sized up after noting your messy ponytail, baby-weight-disguising clothing, tired eyes and wee little one in hand? They may think that screams MOM, but they don’t know your secrets

So here’s how to develop your sinful side even while watching the little one:

BEFORE POKER NIGHT:

• Find your gang. To get started, you will need a group of willing ladies (at least 5), a few decks of cards and some poker chips. Emphasize that babies and nursing moms are welcome.
• Learn the rules. Even if none of the members of your Ladies Poker Club has played before, you can get up to speed in no time. Start with Little Black Book Of Poker. The book walks you through different poker games step by step. So what if you read from the book the first few rounds? You’ll all be card sharks soon enough.
• Make it easy. Print out some small, easy cheat sheets that give quick definitions of a full house, a straight, a flush, etc.. List the hands in order to show the best hand you can have, followed by the second best hand, and so on. The list will make it easy for newbie poker players to quickly determine whether their royal flush beats two pair.
• Really easy. Make sure the cheat sheets include a quick rundown of what each poker chip represents. (For example, white chips equal 10 cents, red chips are 20 cents)
• Set up baby areas. Erect a pack-and-play if anyone may need to nap. Make sure the poker club is a nursing-friendly zone so the moms don’t have to disrupt play by leaving the room to nurse.
• Shop for drinks. Be sure to add fun non-alcoholic beverages to the menu. Not just water. Pregnant and nursing moms will appreciate having something special to drink like a sparkling limeade or sassy tea.

DURING POKER NIGHT:

• Pass the babies around. Spread out the love so the new moms get a little break from holding the baby, or maybe just from holding THEIR OWN baby.
• Betting doesn’t have to be big. This is not Vegas. Start with $20. After awhile of playing this way, a $2 bet seems like $2,000. And it’s easier to talk smack or practice bluffing with $2 at risk instead of $50.

Take turns hosting Ladies Poker Night to spread around the work. When it’s your turn to host, don’t be shy about ordering up some pizza. At each poker club, set the next meeting date while everyone is there. It cuts down on emails later.

Have fun and enjoy the time to bond with other females while being a little bit bad. I’ve been part of a poker group that has been together for three years. We’ve had three weddings, four babies and many other life events during those three years, and the poker club has been a great escape and lots of fun.

Thanks Crystal, wish I could join you!

Related Rookie Moms activities:
>> Host a Margarita Mommies Group
>> Paint a onesie to be this cute
>> Take your bambino to the casino

Toxic goo in the baby bubble bath? WTH?! It drives me CRAZY to learn that our baby body wash has bad stuff in it. When I searched the Internet for recipes to make my own homemade baby soap, I was disturbed by the suggested ingredients. Lye?! No thank you. In fact, I believe that when in doubt, water is better than all the chemicals.

Now crafty, cheapo, and organic moms can come together on this activity; it is easier than you think to make to make your own natural baby wash. I found two different recipes that are good enough to eat, which is super important considering that babies slurp their own feet:

Oatmeal baby bath from Pennie Mills for Momtastic

1 cup of whole oats

Whirl oats in a blender or food processor until they are reduced to powder. To use, sprinkle powder into the bath and swirl.

You will be amazed at the softness of the water and of your baby’s skin.

And if you have a little more time…

Baby Bath Milk from Jessica at MomFuse.com.

1 cup powdered milk
¼ cup corn starch
¼ cup finely ground oats
2-3 drops lavender, rose, or chamomile essential oils

Mix ingredients together and put in a shaker style bottle. To use, sprinkle a small amount in warm bath water.

Jessica has eight-month-old twins, so if she can find time to make them non-toxic, gentle baby wash, so can we. She also gives instructions for making your own wipes solution, baby powder, and baby oil in her article about making your own natural baby products.

Related Links:

• The rest of our Makin’ It series of DIY projects for parents
• 9 better lotions and potions you can make in minutes from Healthychild.org

Our friend, Karen, (formerly known as Auntie Karen, now rookie mom Karen) blew us away with these pictures of her son’s first three months in custom onesies that she made in minutes.

Baby Laz is wearing a dot for each month of his age (1 dot = 1 month old, get it?) and laying around on their coordinated rug from Crate and Barrel and relaxing on the living room chair.

Click to enlarge because, so cute.

This is how she did it:

I used Marvy Uchida fabric markers and Gerber onesies – both from Amazon.

I just freehand drew the circles. It’s permanent so I can save the onesies for the next kid. I edited the photos in iPhoto so they’d be kind of the same size.

Next time I’d try to do him closer to birth for the first one, with a blank onesie, but not sure how realistic that would be. I plan to do it for at least a year, maybe longer if he will put up with it! Obviously will be more dramatic as he gets bigger and bigger but I still can’t believe how skinny his legs were at 1 month!!

Related posts:

• Take photos to show growth
• Reader did-do: Monthly chair photos
• Timestamp a baby photo
• Photoshop your memories

Have you done any clever photo series to show your baby’s growth? We’d love to see them.

Thank you, Karen and Laz!

Taking oneself and a baby to a baby-friendly movie theater is one of our favorite milestones of maternity leave. It requires you to leave the house, challenges you to practice feeding and changing in a public location, but also provides the support of a dark room and fellow new moms (aka crying babies) to remind you that you’re not the only one doing this.

(photo credit)

We are always on the lookout for new mommy movie showings and were delighted to learn that the AMC theater chain has partnered with pregnancy mega-site The Bump to present Bring Your Baby matinees.

These special showings will be on the first Tuesday of every month and feature a baby-friendly environment: brighter lights, lower volume, and boobs, bottles, bulky strollers, and crying are welcome.

Here  is the list of participating theaters.

If there is one near you, will you do us a favor and “like” this post at the top?

This is one easy DIY project that will give you bang for your $5. My mom created the first iterations of our family’s flannel swaddle blankets and I have sewn a few more with these instructions. I even made one large enough to wrap my five-year old when he wanted to be the baby again for a while.

When shopping for receiving blankets, it seems that there are 3 kinds of totally WRONG kinds of blankets: cute but stretchy, too small, or not square. Uggh! For a true Harvey-Karp-style swaddle, you need a biggish piece of flannel or muslin fabric cut in a square.

STEP ONE: Buy a 40″ by 40″ piece of flannel with a cute pattern. Through trial and error, we have found that the more nubbly flannel works better than smooth because it has better grip.

STEP TWO: Fold over, iron, then (or hem) the edges. A jaggedy stitch holds great and looks like this.

PRO TIP: Mistakes are no big deal. A perfect square makes the best swaddler, but any shape will do for a stroller blanket or play mat. The baby below (Holden) required tight swaddling for several months. The baby doll was much more relaxed and barely put up a fight.

Seven years later and we’re still using this robot blankie. I also just gifted a few others circa 2005 over the weekend. Sniff.

Related links:
Happiest Baby on the Block (dvd) – How to wrap your perfect swaddle.
Rookie Mom’s Handbook – How to enjoy becoming a mom.
Our Makin’ It series – How to do dozens of other fun projects.

Is it already time to flashback to Sawyer as a baby? Well, he is just over nineteen weeks now so we can at least review the first quarter of his babydom.

According to my own bossyness, we should have completed all thirteen of the rookie moms weekly challenges within his fourth trimester, right? So, let’s see how we did!

1. Pretend you’re in Europe — I totally did this. Before I could sit (let alone sit and enjoy coffee), Sawyer and I walked to our neighborhood cafe. Extra whipped cream on everything please. Supporting evidence in foursquare. It counts.
2. Grab a buddy to go on a recon mission. Check. Well, I’m counting some of my previous experience as a mom-friendly nutjob always on the hunt for new and secret places to nurse and change a diaper.
3. Join or start a new mom’s group. Kinda sorta. This warrants a whole ‘nother post on whether or not I even want new friends these days. I *do* want some people in a similar boat to kvetch about sleep and swaddles, boobs and bottles. Stay tuned.
4. Visit a fabric store with your sidekick. YES! And I have been there a few times. Lucky me, the fabric outlet that I had never even been to before is a short walk in a baby carrier away. I loaded up the carrier with Sawyer and hand sanitizer; shoved my wallet and phone in my pockets; and came back with a small bag of material for various projects (that I assigned to other people to do for me).
5. Go to the grocery store for just one thing. Sadly, yes. And I still felt insecure and like I needed the practice.
6. Paint your baby’s feet for posterity. OMG, so cute! Alec and I did this right before his paternity leave ended. {sorry this photo looks like crap, I think I just broke iPhoto so bear with me!}
7. Take a postnatal yoga class, with your baby. No. I will accept this as my first failing. But in my defense, Sawyer and I did take an ass-kicking bootcamp class for seven weeks starting when he was 12 weeks old. Booyah!
8. Get a pedicure. Of course.
9. Go to a mom and baby movie. So much. Sawyer has seen several (high- and low-) quality films in his young life: Harold and Kumar Christmas, Moneyball, Our Idiot Brother, 50/50, Footloose, Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked, and A Dolphin Tale (with me, Sawyer, and Milo sharing a seat when we were the only ones in the theater).
10. Plan a mom’s night out. Yes, because of my awesome husband who is unafraid of putting three kids to bed.
11. Visit a friend or spouse at work. Yes. Sawyer and I nervously visited Alec at work. All was well except for the screaming in the mega-van on the return home.
12. Enjoy modern art. Okay, we didn’t exactly go to an art museum, but I did bring the little guy to the Air and Space Museum in DC. And it kind of sucked. I’m counting it.
13. Make a Modern Family photo. I did take a funny picture-in-picture picture (see above) but I did not have the skills to make it fancy. Nor did I actually leave the house! Fail, with flourish.

I’m going to grade myself pretty highly for tackling the first quarter of rookie mom challenges with my little sidekick. We were certainly living up to the spirit of the list — even if I regularly complain that my baby isn’t very portable and want Whitney to come to my house so I’m always near that beloved baby swing.

Is anyone else doing our weekly challenges? How’s it going for you?

Our guest blogger today, Johanna, caught our eye when she wrote this kind post on her blog crushed corn. Her baby boy is one week older than Sawyer so I find her experience familiar and encouraging.

Car seat installed and ready for its first occupant? Check. Nursery set for a crying baby, poopy diapers, and armfuls of pee-soaked onesies? Roger that. A strong enough sense of self to withstand the needs of a newborn, a cluttered house, a needy dog, and a husband going to work and school full-time? I don’t remember that being on my pregnancy checklist.

So much of the preparation involved in welcoming a newborn into your home is focused on the stuff – it’s almost too easy to lose sight of yourself in the process.

After seven weeks my baby and I have stopped exchanging suspicious glances in exchange for googly eyes, and breastfeeding doesn’t reduce me to the whimpering mess it once did. But ask me what I want for dinner or watch as I stare blankly into my dresser drawers and you’ll notice that something is off – I’ve forgotten how to make decisions for myself. In less than two months my brain has been staunchly rewired; all circuits once devoted to making decisions for myself have now been plugged into a big, blazing marquee blinking “Baby! Baby! Baby!” around the clock.

With so many rerouted circuits I have become a new me, a new mom, and a stranger to myself. The first time I got behind the wheel after giving birth sans baby it felt like I had never driven before. I even wondered at the prudence of being on the road for the two miles it took to get to McDonald’s. Many of the things that once defined my existence – going to work, hitting the gym, having a few consequence-free drinks – were no longer part of it. I began to realize that the sooner I accepted that fact, the sooner I could get to know my new self without so heavily mourning the loss of my previous life.

• By month one: Get a new haircut (I have failed and continue to fail the completion of that task)
• By month three: Have a back-to-work wardrobe I feel good in
• By month five: Get a babysitter and go out with my husband for some guilt-free drinks
• By month seven: Buy something completely indulgent for myself and not feel bad about it (finances are going to be a little tight with daycare, so I’m giving this goal some time)
• By month ten: Be able to call myself a mother without thinking twice about it
• Within a year: Run a marathon (or at least a half-marathon.  If Amber Miller can do it while pregnant, I can do it after giving birth!)

I’m excited about who the new me is and who she can become. Having a baby is a perfect reason for reinvention, and I fully intend to take advantage of this maternal clean slate. I may have been a pushover, timid, and introverted in my past life, but I will happily become more aggressive and extroverted in this for the sake of my baby. New mamas we will persevere, and I’m willing to bet that we will be stronger, wiser, and more mommier than before that beautiful baby came along. At least that’s what I’m hoping for myself.

Johanna lives in Madison, WI with her husband, brand new baby boy, and his big brother – a yellow lab named Blue.  She is a full-time office monkey by day and an aspiring writer by night.  You can follow her trials and tribulations as a new mom here, or view more of her work here.

Whitney passed along this mama tip to me and now I’m telling you; if your baby is starting to skip that 10pm feeding and you want to stretch those sleeping hours to ones that are more convenient, try the dream feed. She says it didn’t work for them, but we used the dream feed technique for several months (on two different babies) and are ready to try it again.

Pssst, the Baby Whisperer also recommends it if her word is worth more to you.

Now, it takes a very steady hand and I never tried it myself because I had the lucky job of pumping during feeding time (consequently, Alec is the pro in our house) but here’s the deal:

1. Warm the bottle
2. Feed the baby while he sleeps — you don’t even have to rouse him from the crib
3. Now, you go to bed and enjoy the extra ZZZZ’s

Basically, the sucking reflex is so strong that Holden could down a 4 oz bottle (and later almost 6 oz!) while still sleeping. I think Alec played video games on his phone with his free hand.

I hear that some people are able to do a full-on nursing session without waking the baby this way.

Who wants to make me this sling and teach me how to use it? Based on these simple instructions, I’m pretty sure that I could sew a simple baby sling.

Baby is sleeping in the My Karma Sling (pattern)

According to the directions, all you need to make a “peanut shell” style sling is two yards of fabric and stuff that’s already in my little-used sewing box (like scissors, thread, needles, sewing machine, and an iron). Another simple set of sling instructions is on Instructables.com with photos.

As long as I had a helper like Whitney or my husband, I know I could handle the sewing. But who will teach me and Sawyer how to wear it?