Comments on: Bottled Up: A must-read for all bottle-feeding moms

By: My Guest Post on Fearless Formula Feeder: Where Does Breastfeeding Guilt Come From? | School of Smock

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:40:13 +0000

[...] Bottled Up: A must-read for all bottle-feeding moms [...]

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 18:09:05 +0000

I had the opposite experience. I made milk, but my kid wouldn’t latch in the hospital. The nurses made me feel like I was the worst mother in the world for wanting to hold off on the formula and breastfeed. In the end, they basically strong-armed us into giving the formula even though I had pumped enough colostrum. With the help of a couple of lactation consultants, I breastfed exclusively till he was 5.5 months at which point he refused the breast. So now I pump four times a day and bottle feed the pumped breastmilk. He just turned 8 months and hasn’t had formula since those first two days in the hospital.

By: MJ

MJ — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 04:44:40 +0000

I bought this book as soon as I read this post – I’m past the stage where I needed it, but can’t wait to read it anyway. I plan on keeping it to give to someone else who can use it, too, because I think there are many more of us out there than will ever admit it.

By: Cara

Cara — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 18:24:57 +0000

I do think there is a difference (as the other comments show) between choosing from the get-go to not nurse and choosing to and having it not work for whatever reason. And the guilt that accompanies that “failure” makes me so sad, because of course it isn’t a failure. And yet, I get it. In the end, I was able to nurse my daughter for 3 years but when we started, she could not latch. I had to pump and then feed her with the to tiniest syringe, because she couldn’t latch on a bottle either. Eventually, she could latch if I used a nipple shield — but that was excruciatingly painful for me. Finally saw a lactation consultant and with her help my daughter latched without a shield for the first time.
But in those days when she wasn’t latchig and she was losing so much weight we had to go for weight checks ever day, I would sit and cry and say “This is the one thing I can do for her and I can’t even do that!!!” The emotions around it are so so strong.
And I needed someone to say to me, as my husband and my mom both did “This is not a failure. If you pump and give her bottles instead, that is okay. And if you give her formula instead, that is okay.” I feel very passionately about giving breastfeeding a go and doing my darnedest to make it work — but I also had to know deep down that she would be absolutely fine if it did not work. And we all owe each other the same grace.

By: Whitney

Whitney — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 17:00:42 +0000

@Catharine, I’m so sorry to hear about your difficult experience. It just seems unfair. I hope you’ll check out Suzanne’s blog and find comfort in knowing that others have been in the same position.

@Tinabot and @Kelli, I’m not surprised to read that you still have such big feelings about not being able to nurse. It’s a really big deal!

@Alyssaz, I wish it weren’t the case that you feel shame about what’s in your baby’s bottle. It seems crazy, right, but I totally get why you feel that way!

By: Catharine

Catharine — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 13:22:33 +0000

Thank you for posting this. I was able to breastfeed initially, but despite concerted effort and working with lactation consultants my supply continued to decrease over the past two months. My son would no longer nurse, but I kept pumping a teaspoon at a time until the day when every time I pumped the bottle was as dry when I finished as when I started. I have been crying about this for the past two months because of the many distressing thoughts it brings up (Something’s wrong with me, I can’t give my baby the most healthy diet, I failed at nursing, Will formula harm him in the long run?, Will it happen again when I have another baby? Is there something I could have done differently?) I feel the need to explain to everyone that I didn’t choose formula. I chose breastfeeding, but my body did not cooperate. I’ve been feeling in need of support and knowing there are other women like me, so thank you.

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 00:49:21 +0000

I’m glad you found this book and sad that it wasn’t around when I could have used it. For a long time, I wanted to write a post called “Formula, the other F-word” but I didn’t have the boobs to do it.
My third baby was a voracious kid who would eagerly nurse, drink pumped milk, and then suck down a bottle of formula like he was starving.
It was so very hard to cut myself slack and I needed to call in all my support team to feel okay about our practices of feeding him “all of the above”.

By: Tinabot

Tinabot — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:48:31 +0000

Crying now. I’ve spent the past three months feeling absolutely awful. Week one went fine. By week two, he needed far more milk than I could give him, even if I did produce a normal amount. He would nurse for 7 hours straight. By week three, he didn’t even want to nurse and screamed every time I tried. I went to a nursing support group, I talked to a lactation consultant, I got prescribed Reglan, and I tried all the varieties of galactagogues out there. I still couldn’t make enough milk for him. My son is doing amazingly at 3 months, at 16 lbs (from 7), from formula and one nursing session a day, but I’ve still felt guilty. Thank you for this, and for the tears of relief that come along with it.

By: alyssaz

alyssaz — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:38:04 +0000

Thank for posting about this book! I feel like I have to feed formula in secret or come up with excuses as to why I use it. I can’t wait to check this book out for myself.

By: Kelli

Kelli — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:03:41 +0000

I have tears streaming down my cheeks after reading this post. I was the mother with cracked nipples, a screaming, starving baby, hooked to a pump with no milk to be pumped. And it broke my heart. Every time my friend, who gave birth across the hall from me, breast fed her son in front of me I felt a complete failure. It took over 6 months for me to finally realize it was out of my control and we were getting along in the best way we could.

My daughter is now 13 months and more than striving in all developmental areas. She was formula fed, is healthy, has a wonderful bond with me and her daddy and that is what’s most important!!!

I am going to order this book!!!

Thank you for this post!

By: Amy, Using Our Words

Amy, Using Our Words — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 18:56:23 +0000

This sounds like it was written just for me. I had every intention of breastfeeding. Until my son who was a week old was literally starving. It turns out I don’t make milk. And it doesn’t matter what I eat, how much I pump, or even what medications I take. My boobs run on empty. It’s great to hear other people are helping this conversation and helping moms like me who struggled and felt like I let my babies down.