Comments on: 5 tips for NICU moms

By: Eating while at Alta Bates Hospital

Eating while at Alta Bates Hospital — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 04:45:27 +0000

[...] honor of World Prematurity Day, Melissa also shared 5 tips for NICU moms on rookie moms. If you or a loved one are in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Alta [...]

By: update on asher | Tiny Twig Goes Out on a Limb

update on asher | Tiny Twig Goes Out on a Limb — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:01:07 +0000

[...] an excellent piece for parents with babies in the NICU [...]

By: hokiebear

hokiebear — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 03:30:03 +0000

That should have read that I can only visit 20 min, 2x per day for a total of 40 min/day. I’m so exhausted I can’t think straight. This NICU is a good one in a large Children’s hospital – I can’t understand why they have such a strict policy. I can understand not wanting toddlers running around or older (germier?) kids, but a twin infant in a car seat? I thought twins did better together also. Mine haven’t really been together since birth – I mean they haven’t touched – I hold the well one outside the incubator for the sick one to see, so they can see each other. It’s hearbreaking because I feel like I have to choose between children. Either I only see one 40 min/day or I leave the other at home with hubby and give up nursing him. I feel like I’m being forced to abandon one or the other basically. I don’t want either to feel unloved… there are just no easy answers. And no good choices. Thank you for the kind thoughts, I’m just hoping that we’re all home before Christmas. I don’t know if that’s realistic or not…

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:31:48 +0000

hokiebear, your story breaks my heart (especially since you are living it right now). your hospital seems to have a sadly old (and backwards) way of delivering care to preemies and their families. i was in a similar situation as you, but was treated very differently in the nicu. myself and my family (older siblings and healthy twin) were 100% welcome and encouraged to be there. even then, it was torture (having my sweet babies in two different places, kids and dad somewhere else). the ONLY comfort i can offer is that, even though this seems like your new and permanent reality, it really does end! you will be able to look back on it someday and leave it in the past. my twins are 8 years old. both of them are healthy, happy, and their early bonding/nursing experiences (which i worried about the most) were important at the time, but now i realize that the past 7+ years have affected them so much more than that early madness. i will continue to think about you and send positive, healing thoughts in your direction.

By: hokiebear

hokiebear — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 05:36:15 +0000

I WISH I could stay in the NICU that long. I have twins plus other kids at home. One twin is in the NICU and one is not. They have a no siblings policy, which includes twin siblings the same age. My spouse is 2 hours away at home with the other kids and I’m in the Ronald McDonald house (a lifesaver!) with the well twin – who is nursing so has to stay with me. I am only allowed to visit 20 min at a time a maximum of 20 min a day, even if the well twin stays buckled in his carseat! So 40 min total max per day with my little one in the NICU. This is pure torture.

By: PeeWeePatch Kids

PeeWeePatch Kids — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 23:17:12 +0000

This is wonderful and so great that you shared it. I had my twins in the NICU at Alta Bates for 2weeks and every journey there is heart wrenching. But thank you Alta Bates NICU for making an incredibly hard situation manageable and thank you NICU “graduates” for sharing your stories – that is what helped me the most!

By: Whitney

Whitney — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:00:32 +0000

Ooh, Amy, you have just executed a double whammy on things that brighten my day. 1) real-life small world connections and 2) when people connect in my blog comments.

By: Amanda Armstrong

Amanda Armstrong — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:41:36 +0000

What an amazing story! I also had a premature baby (my 1st pregnancy), a little girl at 30 weeks. I was shocked to discovered I was in labor and already 3 cm dilated when I went in for “pains”. We were able to hold off delivery for 2 days to receive the steroid shots for her lungs. She was born breathing and kicking and I even got to hold her and take a quick picture before she was whisked away. 6 weeks later we were able to leave the NICU – a tremendously difficult experience I am appreciative we went through. I will always be thankful for the unbelievable NICU nurses, doctors, and staff!

By: Amy, Using Our Words

Amy, Using Our Words — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:38:55 +0000

Melissa, your journey was heartwrenching to watch as a friend, so I can’t even fathom what it was like to be in your shoes. I’m so glad you’re sharing your story to help others know they’re not alone and there are things that can make it just a little bit easier. Love to the anti-preemie and his anti-preemie, rockstar family!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:36:43 +0000

Caroline:

I understand where you are coming from. The amount of time spent in the NICU is a very personal choice. You have to find the balance that is right for you and your situation. For me, I had a 5 year old at home as well as my son in the NICU. Being home for her was really important for her well being.

It sounds like the hospital you were at was great with the parental rooms. Where I was, there were only two rooms to service the entire NICU, so it was not possible to stay every night. Even if you do stay in the overnight room, you are not allowed to have your baby in there with you. I did spend two nights in the NICU before and after my sons ROP eye surgery. I “slept” on a cot next to his bed – which really meant I snoozed off and on between exams and alarms.

There is no question that Kangaroo Care is vital for your preemie- assuming your preemie is stable enough to be held. Each hospital is different, and each baby is different. My son could only tolerate being help 1.5 to 2 hours a day max. As he got older, he could handle being held a little longer, but not much.

Again, each situation is different and it is important for people to do what is best for them and their baby.

Melissa

By: Caroline

Caroline — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:20:05 +0000

I don’t agree with some of this. I had a preemie in the NICU for 10 weeks.

First of all I live abroad and have zero help from family and few friends. However we managed.

What I disagree with is the amount of time in the NICU. My husband and I did shifts and were there from 7 am to 11.30 pm doing kangaroo care. I feel that this is very important and beneficial for the child. I was pumping and feeding by tube also. For the last few weeks when the baby could take the breast I moved into the NICU as they had parental rooms there. I even slept with the baby in my bed. Tubes monitors and all.

Of course it’s an individual choice and depends on the family circumstances but for us, and in the opinion of the medical team, it was best to spend a lot of time holding the baby skin to skin.

By: Whitney

Whitney — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:03:57 +0000

Wishing you the best, Heather. The author of this guest post told me that one day on the inside is equal to one week of NICU care, so rest assured that each day you progress is doing wonders for your baby’s development.