Rookie Moms

The last baby shower I went to, I bought up all the medicine cabinet necessities from our “dream baby registry” and put them in a multi-purpose laundry basket. Useful: yes. Adorable: not really.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve never seen a diaper cake in real life. After reading about how to make this cool boozy diaper cake on alphamom, I’m sad I’ve missed out on this ritual and I hope I get a chance to build one soon.

If you’re looking for a clever shower gift that will totally impress people and be hecka useful, I suggest this (and the Rookie Mom’s Handbook of course!).

Ingredients:

• Bottle of champagne (or 6 bottles of Guinness)
• Serving platter or heavy cardboard
• Size one diapers, it’s the filling of your cake
• A whole bag of elastic bands
• White tissue paper
• Fancy decorative ribbon

For the instructions, you must read the whole photographed tutorial on Alphamom, I can’t do it justice!

I was so very proud that I made these baby shoes until Whitney pointed out that I did not actually finish them (oh no, another craft project unfinished, somebody tell my mom to come back with her sewing machine!).

Well, I gave them to someone who gave birth 10 days ago, so it’s unlikely that she’s got enough active brain cells to realize that I left her with no way to fasten the straps around her baby’s ankles. In the meantime, she can just think “Wow, Heather made me such a cute and thoughtful gift.” Luckily, I also left her some food, but I digress…

The instructions come from Martha Stewart and I was inspired by my friend Linda to go for it.

After the 20 minutes it might take you to decipher the pattern, it only takes about 30 minutes to actually make a pair of baby shoes as cute as these. Allow another 30 minutes to make them a heck of a lot cuter (or more functional) with ornamentation and creativity.

Ingredients:

• A sheet or two of felt
• Scissors
• Needle and thread

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Aside from The Rookie Mom’s Handbook (of course), this new book from Chronicle has got to be my favorite baby shower gift idea this year. Porn for New Moms is a collection of photos of hunky, shirtless guys doing the things that turn women on: holding babies, folding laundry, and preparing food. Each photo has a message from the model to the viewer. The whole concept of the book is just *so* my sense of humor, I had to share.

From the publisher:

Prepare to enter a fantasy world, a world where men insist on changing diapers, where guys get up for 3 a.m. feedings, and where they just can’t help but admire mom’s sexy all-sweatpants wardrobe. Page after page of titillating shots and dream-worthy captions will make every mother swoon. In fact, it might just leave her begging for more. . . . Oh, daddy!

What would your new-mom-porn look like? I think I’d like a picture of my husband getting out of bed at 5.59 (alarm clock would be pictured in the background). The caption would read “I’ll go sit outside the door of the children’s room to be sure I can get to them as soon as they awaken. That way, you won’t hear a thing.”

First, my apologies to any pervy googlers. Next, the activity: At least for a little while each day, allow baby to have some time naked, unencumbered by the shackles of a diaper. Just think, this is how your kid lived inside you, just last month in fact.

You may want to put an underpad (chux from the hospital?) down to protect your carpet or the crib and bring along a blanket to keep baby warm and comfy.