Rookie Moms

Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It is a collection of essays about the first year of mothering, comparing the experience to the culture shock one experiences when travelling to a foreign country. I like the analogy a lot and I think Heather will like it even more since she and Alec were on a very long around-the-world trip when they launched their career in parenthood.

The essay I liked the most in the book is the piece from where the author drew the subtitle “Loving Every (Other) Minute of It”. She explains that when people ask new mothers how they like motherhood, we feel obligated to say “Oh, I love every minute of it.” She provides examples of minutes you might not love and encourages you to make your own list. Mine might include

1. Realizing there is poop on a book we like
2. Calling a friend to cancel plans because someone is napping
3. Hearing a cough over the baby monitor and feeling helpless to do anything to fix it
4. Waking up early every single day, holidays and weekends included
5. Plugged ducts

You get the picture. The point is that it doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby if you don’t love some things that come along with the package. This is a very big job you’ve taken on and it’s all consuming. The author reminds us that when we are asked how we like work or our new hometown, we are not expected to love every single thing about it. It might be more accurate to say you love much of it, most of it, some of it, or every other minute. If you relate to this, check out the book.

My very good friend, Crystal, lives in Chicago as a writer with her wee little son, Harry.

Harry is a mere one day younger than Milo and sadly they’ve never met in person. We fully expect that one day they’ll be using Crystals instructions in poker for their own miseducation.

Here’s what Crystal has to say about starting a Ladies Poker Club:

Poker is not very motherly. But that’s exactly what makes it so great. Every once in awhile, it feels good to stretch outside the current identity the world has assigned to you. All those people in the grocery store line who think they have you sized up after noting your messy ponytail, baby-weight-disguising clothing, tired eyes and wee little one in hand? They may think that screams MOM, but they don’t know your secrets

So here’s how to develop your sinful side even while watching the little one:

BEFORE POKER NIGHT:

• To get started, you will need a group of willing ladies (at least 5), a few decks of cards and some poker chips. Emphasize that babies and nursing moms are welcome.
• Even if none of the members of your Ladies Poker Club has played before, you can get up to speed in no time. Start with Little Black Book Of Poker. The book walks you through different poker games step by step. So what if you read from the book the first few rounds? You’ll all be card sharks soon enough.
• Print out some small, easy cheat sheets that give quick definitions of a full house, a straight, a flush, etc.. List the hands in order to show the best hand you can have, followed by the second best hand, and so on. The list will make it easy for newbee poker players to quickly determine whether their royal flush beats two pair.
• Make sure the cheat sheets include a quick rundown of what each poker chip represents. (For example, white chips equal 10 cents, red chips are 20 cents)
• Set up a pack-and-play if anyone may need to nap.
• Be sure to add fun non-alcoholic drinks to the menu. Not just water. Pregnant and nursing moms will appreciate having something special to drink like a sparkling limeade or sassy tea.

DURING POKER NIGHT:

• Make sure the poker club is a nursing-friendly zone so the moms don’t have to disrupt play by leaving the room to nurse.
• Pass the babies around. Spread out the love so the new moms get a little break from holding the baby, or maybe just from holding THEIR OWN baby.
• Betting doesn’t have to be big. This is not Vegas. Start with $20. After awhile of playing this way, a $2 bet seems like $2,000. And it’s easier to talk smack or practice bluffing with $2 at risk instead of $50.
• Take turns hosting Ladies Poker Night to spread around the work. When it’s your turn to host, don’t be shy about ordering up some pizza. At each poker club, set the next meeting date while everyone is there. It cuts down on emails later.

Have fun and enjoy the time to bond with other females while being a little bit bad. I’ve been part of a poker group that has been together for three years. We’ve had three weddings, four babies and many other life events during those three years, and the poker club has been a great escape and lots of fun.

Thanks Crystal, wish I could join you!

Related Rookie Moms activities:
>> Host a Margarita Mommies Group
>> Paint a onesie to be this cute

A friend of a friend, Missy, who is now known as GearHead Mom told us that she invented a new game for her toddler that she found quite entertaining:

Ever since the massive toy recalls have begun, I’ve been a bit more hesitant to pull out Sy’s legos or other plastic boxes of fun. So yesterday when Sy and I were staring at each other post-nap, I figured we could play a simple game with nothing plastic, painted or fully leaded.

I got out two bowls and grabbed a bunch of cotton squares, figuring we’d play a rousing game of “one for me, one for you.” I assumed she was going to hoard all of the cotton, eschewing the overarching “let’s all share” lesson of this old-school game. But no, Sy took a little piece of pulled apart cotton square and wadded it up into a ball. So I went along with that and started to flick it across the table. She thought that was about the funniest thing she’d seen. She’d race across the room, try to catch the flicked cotton (which goes very far, by the way), squeal, miss the flick and then run all over looking for it. Once the treasured object was found, she’d bring it back to me like a faithful retriever and we’d start up again. This amused us for at least twenty minutes.

It was way better than licking lead paint, don’t you agree?

I do agree, Missy. And, want to throw in that Julian simply adores the salad spinner. We put a small car or two inside and watch it spin around.

Gather some friends together for a BBQ or potluck. The easy thing is that by distributing the responsibilities, you’ll have less to worry about. And more fun all around. Easy rules to a sharing-the-load:

• Assign jobs and give yourself an easy one. The goal is to keep your butt out of the kitchen (Unless being in the kitchen is your thing… then delegate childcare to free your hands!)
• Find a good location.
  • Outdoor meals generally mean less clean up before and after. If you choose to dine al fresco, bring plenty of sun protection (hats, sun blocks, tents).
  • Your house means you’ll have all your usual amenities plus a place to put the wee one down for a nap or bed.
  • A friend’s house or yard make it that much easier to cut and run.
• When in doubt, eat beforehand