Rookie Moms

Beep, beep. When Holden hears my watch sound, he knows it’s time to eat. At least I think he does, because he’s so dang smart.

When he was very new and I was overwhelmed and sleep-deprived and couldn’t honestly tell you whether he had eaten 30 minutes ago or 4 hours ago, Alec started timing feedings with his digital watch. If you start the stopwatch setting when you start the feeding, then the “baby clock” will always tell you when baby last ate. When Alec returned to work, I got my own Timex (as purchased online during a 2am feeding).

1. Stop the stopwatch
2. Clear the stopwatch
3. Start the stopwatch

Easy. Obsessively writing these things down is still optional.

If you are a new parent and don’t know about parenthacks.com, get on over there. It offers tons of suggestions from readers with kids of all ages.

My recent favorite post on parenthacks was “Pass secret messages on diapers.”

The parent/hacker wrote:

The other day after “school” I was surprised at changing time with a message on J’s diaper: “My Last Diaper!” — a message from one of her teachers that we needed to bring in another batch of diapers. The next day we sent her to school with her replacement diapers and with a response “Have a good day!” — we kept up the message passing day after day — “I [heart] Mommy and Daddy”, and an homage to Miss J’s winter coat: “I am the cutest purple marshmallow in the world.” Her Dad and I even carried it into the weekend and wrote short love notes to each other. [We do what we must to keep the spark alive. - Ed.]

I’m not sure about the more practical applications of this hack — use it to remind your spouse or caregiver of a medicine dose or doctor’s appointment, perhaps? — but I highly recommend it for plain, old, lighthearted fun.

Today’s naptime activity: write messages to your partner on four or five diapers, hide them, and use them througout the week to strategically deliver messages. In my house, Daddy usually does the first diaper of the morning and the last diaper of the evening, so it will have to be a pre-dinner diaper change. Since my son is really into touching his privates right now, I might write “Please take this off so I can access my penis”.

All across the country, Baby Loves Disco is slowly but surely transforming the hippest night clubs into child proof discos as toddlers, pre-schoolers and parents looking for a break from the routine playground circuit let loose for some post naptime, pre-dinner fun. Make no mistake, this is NOT the Mickey Mouse club, and Barney is Banned. Baby loves disco is an afternoon dance party featuring real music spun and mixed by real djs blending classic disco tunes From the 70s, & 80s guaranteed to get those little booties moving and grooving.

Baby Loves Disco tickets are hot hot hot. Whitney and I hit the clubs in San Francisco last fall and loved it! What better excuse for a pregnant woman to rock out in a swanky night club munching on cheese sticks and dodging day-glow hula hoops? There is none.

Local readers: BLD is in Pleasanton this weekend! It’s time to rock the East Bay. Details here at SVMomsBlog.

Get the details for this and other shows at babylovesdisco.com. Click on “Tickets” to see the schedule and availability.

You heard me, woman.

If it’s not happening yet, I’ll assume you are terrified, disinterested, or terrified by your own disinterest. Talk to your other mom friends about this. You are not the first person in history to give birth and not be ready to get back in the game after the doctor-prescribed six week waiting period.

Talking about it will help you feel normal. It’s hard to break this ice on this conversation, so you might try this subtle introduction: “Hey [lifelong friend’s name who has a child 11 months older than yours], it’s [your name]. I’m calling to talk about sex. Do you have time right now?”

If you feel abnormal after talking to your friends, talk to your doctor. S/he has heard everything and might have some suggestions.

The most important person to talk to, however, is your partner. Take things one “base” at a time, like a high school couple.

To laugh about this topic, read Dooce’s entry on “reconvening her procedure.”