Rookie Moms

It’s time to introduce your baby to lions and lizards. And won’t you feel like an official parent when you brag that you take your child to the Zoo?

My friend Sarah gets credit for this one. “It’s fun for parents, too,” she says. Honestly, I think it’s mostly fun for parents. Even at 12 months, Julian cannot pick the animals out of their environments with his untrained eyes. He did see a lot of running water that excited him, though.

Just like the children’s museums, when you join, you get to go whenever you want all year. The Oakland Zoo membership includes free parking and a few other benefits. Also, the Zoo is a non-profit, so membership is a feel-good thing (not to mention a tax deduction). The money helps take care of the animals. Since as a mother, you now have a Responsibility to all things living, including those nasty reptiles your child will soon be fond of, this is a Good Thing.

There are all sorts of membership configurations, but in Oakland for $68 per year, two adults and up to four children can enter the zoo whenever they like.

The Maternity Gallery is looking for bellies in all stages of pregancy — especially really early and really late — to share with its online viewers. Just tell them how many weeks along you are and whether this is pregnancy #1, #2, #7 (whatever). It’s a pretty cool collection of large and small tummies. There’s sure to be a wide enough sample to make you feel “normal”.

I contributed the ones of me and Whitney together to their “fun” section since I never painted my burgeoning belly like a soccer ball, globe, or pizza pie.

Check it out at MaternityGallery.com. Let me know if you find us.

Yesterday while my baby slept, I went around the house and gathered up all my shoes. There were some in my bedroom, some in the hall closet and some under the desk and dining room table. I brought them all into one clear space and laid them out in a grid. My objective? Toss my six least-favorite pairs of shoes.

Setting up the grid was satisfying. I was able to see how many shoes I have in the Sneaker category, Dress Up category and Boots category. It was a revelation and quite a trip down memory lane. I picked the worst shoes in each row and moved them to the toss pile. Then I struggled to come up with two more pairs I can do without. I have two pairs of running shoes and I rarely ever run (tossed the pair with the most miles on them).

Dear clunky pink boots purchased on Haight Street: Alas, I am too old for you. I will miss you. But probably not too often.

The positive outcome is that I fit my remaining shoes into existing storage containers and I was reminded of some great shoes that I had forgotten about.

Confession #1: When my husband got home and I told him what I had done, he said that I had some shoes in the car as well.

Confession #2: I had 34 pairs of shoes, and I counted my husband’s shoes to make sure I was not insane and he had 34 as well. Now I can gloat about having a more streamlined shoe collection.

Confession #3: I took numerous photos of the grid of shoes. This one is my favorite — I also color-code my books.

What’s stopping you?

Related entry: Do the 27-Fling Boogie

According to Mr. Dad, “kids who grow up with actively involved fathers are happier, healthier, smarter, and better adjusted than those who don’t.” Ok, sign me up. The added payoff is that I get a break, right?

We had a few different break-throughs in our house and I want to go on-record as suggesting the sooner the better.

• For Holden’s first two weeks, Alec was chief diaper changer to allow me time to lay around and recover (and nurse eight hours a day). He was and still is the diaper expert. Nice!
• Around four months old, Alec got in the habit of taking the baby out for a short bjorn-walk when he got home from work to give me a little break. That was wonderful; I would check my email and enjoy the relaxation that comes with being Off Duty. Something about solid foods and bad weather got in the way of that ritual, but I highly recommend it. Find a variation that works for you.
• And some time around 14 months, Alec became the chief bather and to-bed-putter of our little guy. Before then, we did it all together. Lock step. Let me tell you that it is very liberating to diversify your skills in this regard. If you’re comfortable trying it sooner, go for it!

Basically, your partner needs your support in order to be successful (but not by controlling or bossing, I learned). Let the other parent take the lead in diaper-changes, baby-bathing, and massage-giving while you go in the other room and put your feet up. Try your very best not to micro-manage – they’ll get along just fine without you.

Sometimes, it’s easiest to leave the the house completely so you don’t have to watch or listen… the happy biproduct being you can take a break already!

Two awesome resources for new dads are based right here in Berkeley: The Father’s Forum (Dads, check out the Yahoo group) and Mr. Dad.