Rookie Moms

Alec and I rejoined Netflix when Holden was teeny so that we could see movies we wanted when we wanted without worrying about late fees or getting out of our pajamas.

We were able to both whittle away our movies-to-see list while also adding to it (how nice is it that they keep track of your list so your baby-addled brain doesn’t have to?).

Watching recent movies will also give you something non-baby to form opinions about and talk about… and that is priceless.

I can also highly recommend watching some addictive television this way. Alec and I have seen Season One of 24, Entourage, Alias, and Lost this way (in a frightfully short amount of time). We’re in the midst of Six Feet Under right now. Just don’t tell me how it ends!

For any male readers, you probably already are a dad, so you can check this one off your list.

For the rest of you crazy mamas, my suggestion today is to take a cue from dads and do something a little different with your baby.

Go somewhere different. My husband tends to take Julian wherever he needs to go and find something interesting when they get there: the hardware store, to buy a newspaper and stop at the dry cleaner. You get the idea. The sights and sounds of these unfamiliar destinations seem to keep Julian engaged and watchful. I think he is more restless going to the routine places he visits with me.

Use different gear. Use the backpack, the jogging stroller, or the bike trailer.

Dads, tell us - what can we do to be more like you?

P.S. The picture of Violet Affleck’s daddy here is a nod to Heather’s post-collegiate crush on the man.

If you’re getting sick of your “to do” list getting longer and not shorter and wondering where the heck is all your time going, try writing a “did do” list. Share it with your baby-daddy at the end of the day and encourage him to be very impressed. The truth is that your time is filled with lots and lots of recurring tasks that you never had to deal with before.

So set aside this list:

• Fix chip in front windshield
• Call Amanda back
• Change name with United Airlines
• Order wedding albums
• Buy Whitney’s birthday present

and, for at least one day, make this list:

• Changed 10 wet diapers
• Changed 4 poopy diapers, 1 blowout
• Selected 2 full outfits
• Changed baby’s entire outfit 3 times
• Nursed for 4 hours
• Photographed offspring
• Showered, almost
• Made myself lunch
• Ate breakfast and half of lunch
• Made this list

you get the idea. Own it. Live it. Love it.

I am assuming that I am not the only rookie mom for whom leaving my child to be put to bed by a babysitter is scary. My kid never took a bottle, so I pretty much had to be there for a bedtime nursing for the first ten months. This feeling is the opposite of freedom, by the way.

Once your baby is reliably sleeping between 8 pm and midnight or beyond, you can resume the life you used to lead in restaurants and cafes by making dessert dates with girlfriends or your partner. This is the least stressful babysitter situation possible. Pretty much anyone is qualified to lay on your couch and watch TV while you enjoy an evening outing, right?

Put your baby to bed the way you like. When you are confident he is asleep, head out to any of your favorite restaurants. Order dessert or a drink. Enjoy ambience. Leave.