Thursday Thirteen: 13 things that confuse me about preschool

I was trolling around the Internets and decided to play “Thursday Thirteens” but what to write about? I decided it would be fun to capture some of the mystery and magic surrounding Holden’s first (transitional) week of preschool… some of the stuff that will be so old hat in a couple months.

  1. Who will open his lunchbox at lunch? I like to assume he won’t just sit there crying.
  2. Will he learn to ride a trike before the bigger kids mow him down on the yard? Does he care or is that just me?
  3. Will I learn to change a poopy diaper while he is standing (like the teachers can)? Do I have to do this in order to reinforce all that good (included with the price of admission) potty learning? I feel like I need a headlamp, a hose a can of compressed air, and a box of Q-tips to do it without just flipping him over on a changing table.
  4. How can we possibly learn how to get out of the house together in the morning? This is a big concern once I start working and when Milo needs to start eating breakfast.
  5. The different age classes are named for animals with no apparent rhyme or reason. How am I going to learn all that preschool lingo in time? Is it “slug” before “sloth”? And, really, I guess it doesn’t matter if Holden knows and I don’t and he has to teach me, right?
  6. How can a single adult be responsible for the health and happiness of four to six kids when I struggle with my two? What’s wrong with me?
  7. What happens if I forget to sign him out again? How does this whole drop off pick up thing work? It looks so smooth as an outsider. Am I an insider now? When will I feel like an insider?
  8. Will he be too hot for nap now that I’ve gotten him the totally wrong kind of sleeping bag? I got him the one for 45+ camping rather than 67+ communal naproom sleeping. And how soon will Alec let me buy a new one?
  9. Will his placebo lovey (“new Leonard”) and pacifier do the trick for his debut at public napping? I can’t wait for Holden to master the “sleeping on a mat on the floor” skill but I’m skeptical.
  10. Do I really have to label everything? I like labeling on a normal day but now I feel like I need to Sharpie his belly before I send him off in the morning.
  11. Is he going to pick up a slew of new and bad habits from the alpha boys and girls in his class?
  12. Since I’m sending Milo to the same place (starting next week), will I be able to survive the two-small-person size hole in my heart?
  13. Will he still love me best?